I know I recently had a spiritual webinar about breaking emotional, mental, and physical triggers, but people had lots of questions. I don't feel like we had enough time to get them all answered in the spirituality webinar we had a couple weeks ago. So I'm doing this topic again with a little more time for questions and less of my initial talk.
If you wanted to come to the topic and missed it, here's your chance. If you had more questions, please write them down and bring them with you.
The unconscious ego is an amazing thing. It will continue to reveal itself over and over again. Right when life is going well, it may suddenly run in shouting, "Stop the presses!" Everyone in the metaphorical room will pause and turn around, asking, "What? What's the problem?" And that unconscious part of us may say with great concern and distress, "We have no problems!"
It seems absurd. For some of you without the problem-solver ego, you will probably not have to do this dance. But for many of you, you've gotten good at resolving issues. Even if you aren't good at it, many of you also will be constantly seeing places to fix your life or are trying to get somewhere. One of the big illusions for many people is that safety and happiness are "over there somewhere." But they're not. They're always right here. And yet sometimes as we are becoming more right here and right now, we are so deeply trained to look elsewhere and to be unsettled within ourselves that we keep looking elsewhere and keep looking for things to resolve to get to that mythical "there" point where we can have happiness. Relax. You are already here.
It's time for some fun, so I felt like doing something completely different than usual. This list comes from my Google Analytics, which tells me from where people come. As such, these are the top 10 spiritual cities for this little spiritual awakening blog over the past 4 years. Some of it might surprise some of my regular readers, and here's a quick little teaser: the top city isn't in the U.S.
Now, I can't say that any of these cities are more spiritual than any other city. As many of you know, I see spirituality in everything. But if you happen to live in one of these cities, you might be reassured to know that more than a few people near you are interested in spirituality.
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A common core issue that people struggle with is the inability to ask for what they want. If you can't ask for what you want, generally speaking, you won't get it. Now, of course, I spend a lot of time helping people understand why they want what they want, but for this post, I'll assume you've done your work. You've drilled down past the outer defenses and socially trained responses to get the core of things. Maybe you've even touched the Truth (a spiritual opening or glimpse of awakening) or that Truth is now abiding within you (spiritual awakening).
Regardless, this is a post for the more advanced practitioner. This isn't about "manifesting" or "attracting" whatever you think you need to be happy. This is the superficial level that many spiritual seekers are caught at. They don't really know why they want what they want, so they keep looping around trying to manipulate themselves and the universe to give them stuff: six-figure jobs, soulmates, exotic trips, etc., etc. But the mature spiritual adult knows what is truly meaningful to them, and depending on where you are in your path, you may find that you have an incredible inability to ask for what truly matters to you.
This webinar was requested by one of my students. She has learned as many of us have learned that for most of our lives we have not made conscious decisions. We might not even have made one.
To the unconscious ego (which of course thinks it's making all kinds of great decisions and that this webinar doesn't apply to you), this is a very humbling realization. It's only as we start to know ourselves do we see the profound influence of social programming, family upbringing, life karma, and instinctual patterning. As we gain more and more perspective, we see how our choices for friends, lovers, jobs, living situations, and so forth has been heavily dictated to us by this programming. As such, we realize we haven't been making decisions; we've just been acting out a program.
So for this webinar, I'll talk about what it's like to make conscious decisions as well as the ongoing uncovering of deeper programs and unconscious motives.
One of the core programs of the unconscious ego goes something like this: "I am never good enough." It's a simple little idea that infects and destroys countless lives. It can take an easy, wonderful life and destroy it because a person is simply never satisfied. I can think of one relative who was never satisfied with his artwork. Amidst a bountiful and wonderful life, he could never really embrace the breadth of wonderful things that were there because an aspect of his life never really fit his idea of what good enough would be. As a result, he was never good enough. This didn't lead to any spectacularly horrible fallout that I know of, but it is such a common theme for many people that it must be addressed.
Not every unconscious ego has the same core issues, although they all lead towards different levels of illusion that cut us off from each other, from our own love, and from the divine consciousness. But this issue of not feeling like we're enough is prevalent. It's so epidemic that we don't even consider it a problem. For instance, you'll hear people talk about not being faster enough, trying to learn more to be smarter, and so forth. There's quite a list that I can come up with, but I do encourage you to write down where you don't feel like you're enough (pretty enough, rich enough, etc.). Because this is a sure sign that you've been infected by this feeling that you're not enough.
It's been awhile since I brought our attention to the darkness and the shadows--at least not overtly. Ultimately, we're always opening our eyes and our hearts to the whole of life--light, dark, and shadow. So at no time is this spiritual awakening blog ever ignoring that. However, sometimes, I am not highlighting darkness quite so directly, and I felt like it was time to do so once more.
Facing and embracing your inner darkness has nothing to do with becoming evil. It is also not an impossible task that will overwhelm and destroy you. It's looking at all you, and only you can embrace all of you. One of the biggest problems many of you will face comes from running from your inner darkness. Some people go to great lengths to do all kinds of good deeds to try to erase, counterbalance, or avoid their darkness, but wherever you go, there it is. When unconfronted, the darkness thrives. It exists precisely because you don't look at it. That is the nature of the dark. It is the absence of the light. Just start to turn and look at it, and already it is evaporating.
But it may not go easily. It's not because it has to be difficult, but rather, we quickly begin to realize how committed we are to these aspects of ourselves and the expansive system of relationships and lifestyles we've created around ourselves. As such, we soon learn that facing our darkness will bring us into a deeper level of commitment to reality that may involve giving up more than a few things. That's usually when things get sticky.