Sunday, May 2, 2010

Permission, Forgiveness, and Relationships

I am still exploring the topic of spiritual relationships. I'm also still exploring exactly what "spiritual relationship" means. In general, what I mean is that both people have a deeper sense of service to the world around them and a focus on how they are in relationships with the divine and with themselves as well as their romantic partner.

Lately, I feel brand new to everything, and I'm shaking out exactly what I'm feeling and how I'm moving through life. The things that attracted me before don't have as much hold now, and I feel like I'm getting all kinds of new attention, feelings, and people in my life. I'm sorting things out at this point and working on getting my arms around it all.

Permission & Invitation
One of the things that has become increasingly important is permission. A lot of dating has been set up in this paradigm of the hunter stalking some chick, knocking her out, and dragging her back to his cave. Seriously, if you hang around a bar for awhile, you'll see just how primitive "modern courtship" can be. But the more I move through my own spiritual process, the more useless something like that becomes. It's not that you aren't assertive in finding someone for a romantic relationship, it's just that the importance grows considerably of how two people invite each other into each other's lives and give permission to one another to be in certain spaces. This of course predicates a lot of communication.

Forgiveness
Spiritual relationship acknowledges that there will be a lot of intense moments of union and a lot of intense moments in general. I've found that the more open two people can be, the more issues and problems move into two people's awareness. In some ways, this type of relationship is expected to get messy. Where a lot of times romantic relationship gets idealized, I think an authentic spiritual relationship ends up in the mud a lot more, and both people know it. This is where forgiveness as a practice becomes critical. You both know that you're heading for the dirt, and you'll both be upset. But to practice continual forgiveness as one of you or both of you work something out becomes one of the saving graces of this type of relationship. Then it lets you move back into those higher energy states, where we all want to go anyway.

Curiosity
I am also finding in myself that I move into relationship more from the space of curiosity than anything else. My levels of attraction to women ebb and flow, but moving from curiosity is a whole other thing. To me, it's this element of child-like play that is maturing and evolving in different areas of my life. It largely is getting igniting from the subtle energies that I may feel from someone. It's like a part of me says, "What's this?" It's really kind of fun and beautiful, and since it feels that way, I'm interested in seeing how I bring curiosity more fully into my relationships.

The Wrap Up
All-in-all, I feel different, and I don't fully know what to make of myself. I feel very solid in many regards, and I really don't know what's going to happen next. I'm very much in a period of rest and recharge, but at the same time, I feel like a whole new segment has just opened up in my life. I feel like I've only been operating on this script for a week and a half, so I'm sure that my perceptions around it all will vastly change as I get to understand what this new energy is that is moving through my life.

I welcome your thoughts and comments as always.
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