Healing Hands

The latest thoughts and experiences from my awakening friend, Susan. You can follow along with all her blog posts on this link:

The pain calls my hands towards it. I begin to use the mere technical skills to massage his back in a gliding motion. Then I realize I can do so much more with Spirit’s help. I visualize blood and nutrients flowing from the palm of my hands into the skin of his back. Eyes are closed. Intense but soothing heat projects from hand with the palm being the center and radiating to the fingertips. Fingers start to feel numb. A visible redness can be seen on his skin. I stay there until I feel the need to let go. His relief is immediately felt and continues on through the next day.

Embracing a similar but also different experience during mediation a few days later. Heat radiating from the hands, but in addition to a feeling of vibration. It’s almost as if the heat is pulsing within the palms with a simultaneous low pitched whirring sound. A new experience each time I sit down to intentionally connect with my Creator.

Feeling drained afterwards, but why? It was because I was using my own life source instead of calling upon the infinite Light. Yes, He is inside me, but I quickly realize it is more important to be used as a vessel instead of trying to do all the work myself. How funny it is that we, as mere humans, are stubborn enough to try to heal the world using only what we have instead of looking to the vast and infinite Light to help us along the way. Humble am I.

Susan started to cultivate a deeper relationship with the Creator four years ago when she was introduced to the works of Eckhart Tolle's, "The Power of Now" by Jim Tolles. Her life has been transformed in countless ways since then.

What Is a Spiritual Teacher?

Our teaching paradigms have been so messed up for so long that I think it's really important to explain what a spiritual teacher is. Many people are seeking spiritual teachers. But they don't really know what to look for or what to do when they find one. They are acting like beggars looking for illuminated coins to drop from the hands of the teacher. And certainly, you have a lot of people, whom I would term spiritual counselors, doing this. You may become really excited, thinking that you're getting a lot of value. The ego mind is always concerned about gettting something--knowledge, experience, things, identities, etc. It can create a strange scenario where you are actually getting further from the Truth. So let's talk about what a spiritual teacher is.

He or She Doesn't Have Your Answers
Just in case years of patriarchy have ingrained in you the idea of robed old dudes being spiritual teachers, let's knock that idea right out of you. I'm connected with some amazingly powerful women who are growing into the space of spiritual teacher. They're freaking amazing and beautiful examples of the divine feminine emerging and re-establishing itself in the world.

But whether a spiritual teacher is a man or a woman, that person doesn't have your answers. Sorry. This may be disappointing. The more embodied awareness a teacher has, the less likely the teacher will presuppose to have anything at all. The spiritual teacher understands that this whole process of awakening is an uncovery--a pulling away of external ego, identity, issue, pain, joy, and so on. It's a recovery of the you buried beneath all the social, emotional, intellectual, and physical contrivances. It's the recovery of you. The path a spiritual teacher points you towards is the one leading you back to you.

Encouragement, Advice, and Hugs...Lots of Hugs
A spiritual teacher will have plenty of spiritual advice. It's never enforced on you, although it can be emphatically and forcefully said. A spiritual teacher may also incredibly upset you--he or she will know how to ignite issues in you so that you can see them...eventually. You may not understand the process or why you're so pissed at the teacher. But in time as you work with a teacher, you will understand that the teacher is helping you to heal. That said, the spiritual teacher is not controlling you or making you do stuff out of fear, guilt, or shame. Any so-called teacher who does that is not a teacher at all.

Above all, a spiritual teacher offers lots of encouragement, love, and hugs--or whatever support you need. He or she knows that you're working through a lot of stuff, and you do have to do the work on this path. It doesn't just happen. But with a spiritual teacher, you may find that it is all a little easier to bear, and you will find a lot of compassion emanating from this person.

Levels of Spiritual Teachers
I don't like breaking things into levels because ultimately the further on the spiritual path you walk, the more things blend into oneness--a beautiful uniqueness, but also the sameness. However, given all the teachers springing up out there, I see a lot of different levels and varieties that I can express in some broad strokes:

• Intellectual teachers: The intellectual teacher is like a lot of Buddhist teachers. They really give you a lot for your mind to work with in developing a framework around spirituality.
• Psychic teachers: They can help you get in touch with past lives, the astral plane, and all sorts of energy forms.
• Heart teachers: These teachers really teach from their hearts. They can show up in just about any spiritual or religious tradition. You may notice that when you're around them that your heart just opens up on its own.
• Body teachers: Hatha yoga and Western Tantra teachers are great examples of body teachers. They really understand the body and spirit connection. Sometimes, getting just a hug from a body teacher can be a powerful thing because how they teach best is through their bodies and touch.

Obviously, there is plenty of overlap. Boundaries are illusory, but you'll start to see where people are strongest and what type of teacher will help you most. You may also move through different teachers.  One teacher will help you with your heart, the next may help you to understand with your mind.

Then there is a level of advancement. You can get a sense for how powerful someone is after awhile. Initially, you probably will think certain people are more powerful than they actually are. In such an instance, the power you see is how much you have to learn from them. When you complete those lessons, the scales fall from your eyes, and you'll see where they're really at.

Here's how I break down levels of advancement:

1. Spiritual Teacher 1: Knows the Path Because S/He Learned It from a Teacher. This individual has been taught. This teacher filed away all the knowledge and is now repeating it. This pretty much defines 90% of teachers out there. For example, someone taught them the Bible, and now they are repeating that. There is nothing wrong with this, and it can help you to expand your mind and spiritual understanding.
2. Spiritual Teacher 2: Knows the Path Because S/He Experienced Some of It. This teacher may have some intellectual background or may not. (Intellectual understanding isn't a prerequisite to teaching, btw.) Mainly, this individual has experienced a few awakened moments, and s/he is sharing them with others to help them find those experiences in their lives. This individual is likely to be interested in rituals, spiritual retreats, somatic experiences, and other spiritual activities that allow the person to engage with spirituality in a meaningful way.
3. Spiritual Teacher 3: Knows the Path Because S/He Embodies It. This teacher uses all spiritual tools equally and as is necessary for the student. In embodying awareness, this teacher is awake in soul, mind, heart, and body, whereas the other two teachers are less likely to be aware on all levels.

The Spiritual Master: A Rare Find
Finally, we come to the spiritual master. The spiritual master radiates energy. When she or he enters the room, the room shifts. The presence of the master can call out darkness almost immediately and open new ways to embodied expression. This is a powerful, powerful person, and this type of person is one whom you only seek when all else but the spiritual path matters to you. Really, by the time you are with a teacher at the 3rd level, that should be your mindset, but with the master, you won't be the same just by being in the same room.

Above all, spiritual teachers want to help you see the joy and beauty residing within you and help you to be free of fear and hate. They are amazing people, and more and more are springing up out there. I am just one of them. I hope you find the one that you need when you're ready, and if you are moved to connect with me, you can reach me via my contact form. Be well. Be free.

Next blog: What Is God?

For more on the topic of the spiritual teacher, you can check out this YouTube video:

Falling in Love with Yourself

In my last post, I didn't get as much into the power of relationships as I wanted. Needless to say, groups of people do amazing things. Relationships make up the world whether it's in a non-profit, family, corporation, social club, sports team, or other collection of people. There's so very little that we actually do on our own. That's why having a clear heart and a lot of love is so important. From this space, you dictate the relationships around you--I know dictate is a strong word, but I'm trying to make a point. How you are in your heart has a profound effect on the people around you, how they interact with you, and who you draw to you. So, you see, the power of relationships really starts with you.

Self-Love: The Forgotten Love of Your Life
Rumi is a Sufi best known for his love poetry. Much of Sufi writing is intricate word play, and since we aren't reading in the language in which it is written, we miss out on some essentials. Sufism is interested in experiential awakening, and that undercurrent is in a lot of their writing. This poem comes to mind for today's topic:

"The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing

how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They're in each other all along."

-- 

Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi (The Illuminated Rumi)

People like to look at this poem in the romantic sense, and Rumi is sly enough to give that to those who want to see that and who would not understand the deeper meaning. But if you're reading this blog, I know you're looking for that deeper meaning. The way I interpret this is that your deepest and most profound love is in you. You are the lover and the beloved. You divorce yourself from your beloved when you think that you need a relationship or that you need a partner to give you love. Certainly romantic relationships have lots of beautiful things to offer, but the greatest love you can ever experience is already within you, waiting.

Look at it this way: think of how you feel when you first fall in love. It's a gorgeous feeling, but is that feeling coming from outside you or from within. Your feelings are already inside. Your love is already inside you. Your partner is an excuse--a beautiful excuse--to allow yourself the feelings of love.

Owning Your Love
In my experiences, as I've allowed myself to open to love that I already have, I have these amazing moments of spontaneous love. There's no reason for them. Love doesn't need a reason. Reasons for love are how the mind keeps our hearts trapped from fully expressing themselves. Love just happens for me. I can be sitting in my car at a stop light, meditating, talking with someone, or in any other situation. Then there's this wave of love that is almost inexpressible, and I'm smiling uncontrollably.

He Makes It Sound So Easy; I Can't Do That
Oh, I hear you little ego-mind. I hear you trying to shut out love from your life. I hear you not owning your responsibility to your heart. Squirming and writhing, you're really upset. You want this feeling. You're not angry at me. You're angry at you--angry that you've trapped yourself in an icy prison.

And it has taken me a lot of work to get out my own prison. I'm a former inmate. Perhaps you're a former inmate totally vibing off the energy of what I'm saying, or maybe you're still in the prison. Well, you've got the key. It's in your pocket, but you've also set up all the defense mechanisms--all the reasons that you can't feel love in this moment. It's up to you to disarm the alarm, sneak past the guard dogs, and subdue all other resistance. You need to escape from Alcatraz; later, you'll have to start destroying Alcatraz, but that's another story.

Okay, Already, But How Do I Do This? How Do I Love Myself?
Everyone has their own path. You will have to find yours. I saw a friend post on her Facebook page about looking at herself naked in the mirror. That can be a powerful process to come into acceptance and then into love with your body. You could write down all your excuses about why you can't feel love now and why you need a situation and/or a partner to feel love. Look at those excuses and know that they're illusory. You probably won't believe it at first. Your internal programming is probably too well-established. You will have to break down that programming that says "You're not deserving" for what ever reason. It's all lies.

Along the way, you're going to start discovering all the relationships, activities, and work that you do that doesn't love you. Working out too much comes to mind as one way. We can all get caught up trying to make our bodies look a certain way to get social approval. Grueling work-outs can be a form of self-hate and self non-acceptance. You could bring more heart into your work-outs to find out what actually feels good to you as opposed to what you think you should do (This advice is best for those who are used to working out. If you are just starting out, well, pretty much all work-outs kinda suck. It has to do with moving low energy, but that's another topic and an important process in its own right).

Evolving Heart Consciousness in the World
The emerging consciousness in the world is opening a lot of hearts these days. It's an amazing and powerful process that people are feeling everywhere. As you delve into yourself and look at how you can authentically love yourself, you should know that you're not alone. People all around you are experiencing this too, and as we re-awaken and evolve our hearts together, we are changing the world.

Next blog: Falling in Love with the World 

The lovely heart picture for this spiritual love blog post comes from my student, Jenn.

The Power of Relationships

I'm about to transition this series of blogs from personal power into matters of the heart. The power in relationships is a perfect vehicle for this transition (and if you're just tuning in, check out this link and the blogs under the section Building a Spiritual Foundation to get into the flow of the posting).

Relationship Abuse
Power and relationships is kind of an icky subject, so I'm going to go right after why this can make people uncomfortable. Quite simply, relationships have been heavily abused. At this point, I'm not even talking about the really hard core stuff of physical abuse like domestic violence. I'm starting at the subtler points where people use, manipulate, and try to control others for their personal gain.

How about a simple scenario? Two friends are walking down the street, and one wants to go into a store. She says to her friend, Jane, "I want to check this out." Jane balks, saying, "Cathy, can't we keep going? We've already checked out so many stores." Cathy says, "This will be the last one, I promise." Jane's reply: "That's what you said at the last store. You always do this to me." Cathy says, "You're such a slacker. We've hardly been anywhere. Just come on already." And Cathy goes into the store and Jane sullenly follows.

You may have picked out Jane as the victim here, but both women are victims of relationship abuse. Their egos are caught in a tug of war to get what they want. One wants to do something, and another doesn't want to do something. It gets acted out further with the "you" statements: "You're such a slacker." You know how this story goes. At some point, you've probably been a part of this type of scenario. And while relationships should be matters of the heart, you can hear how the ego and its drive for power over any situation is the one calling the shots.


Additional Relationship Abuse Examples
Let's keep going just in case you're squirming and trying to get out of realizing where you've gotten into this relationship abuse. Pretty much almost all of us have at some point. The social programming in this culture is so ego-driven that we're doing it pretty unconsciously. So when we get in an argument at work and want to win it, ego is trying to manipulate our co-workers, employers, and employees. The work world is exceptionally bad for people using other people to get what they want. In some of these instances, abusers do understand that relationships are powerful, but they are using that power to the ego's demands like increasing the profit margin or protecting their jobs. Domestic violence is another example of relationship abuse, typically done by men to women, but not always. I would like to add domestic emotional violence to this list. This often is how women strike back at men--by manipulating their feelings, guilt-tripping, and so forth to get what they want. You can add examples if you like, but you get the drift.

Realigning the Heart with the Ego
I've already said that ego is not evil; it's just a tool. The heart itself needs to have balance, and the ego can provide that. A person with unchecked heart energy can be extremely effusive, flowing from extremes of happiness to extremes of sadness. This person may feel everything in the room. This isn't healthful. The ego can help hold and protect the heart with good boundaries. The heart teaches the ego to be soft and to move from love. You can start to feel a shift in the writing, can you not?

The softness and strength of the heart is a powerful space, and as we build into the next set of blogs about love, relationships, and the heart, you'll start to become aware of how you've avoided it, met it, or be over-run by it. The heart leads us towards our greatest loves and passions, and when it's at the forefront and balanced, the relationships that come into our lives are very powerful. Power is not evil, by the way. In a relationship, we simply have been given the ability to influence others. Earning this right is part of it, and then holding that power with integrity is essential. Take any good leader, and you can see the power that they have with the people who follow them. When it is done with heart and ethically, these leaders can change the world. In friendships, you can ask a friend to help you move, and s/he does it because they love you.

The Third and Fourth Chakra Balance
It's important to decide what kind of relationships you want in life. However, it is also important to look at the relationships that you've attracted thus far. How do you wield your relationship power within your family, your workspace, your friends, and among strangers? Write down your thoughts. It'll be interesting if you walk down this spiritual path to see how this shifts. If you want to talk to me more about tools to balance your heart and your ego, you can contact me here.

But I think we all know that this is an essential part of our growth and the growth of the world. We can no longer use each other so mercilessly. We need to build our relationships with kindness and love in a meaningful, balanced way. As we all do this, the world around us will shift, and more love and beauty can then begin to manifest in all areas of our lives.

Next blog: Falling in Love with Yourself 

Today's picture comes from my student, Jenn. Thanks!

Achieving Your Goals and the Power of Manifestation

One of the bigger achievements for people is to realize a goal or a dream. This is a powerful process. To take something from the formless (an idea) and to turn it into a reality that can be interacted with is incredibly energizing. In many ways, writing is a regular practice for me in doing this, but I've had other bigger moments where I got to see a hope, dream, or thought manifest in the world.

People Defined By Their Deeds
At this point in the discussion of cultivating a spiritual awakening, we're at the point where you are your deeds. This is a transitory period, but an important period nonetheless. Most of Western society is, however, stuck at this point. There's a great line in Batman Begins that illustrates this when Batman says to Rachel, "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." Yep. That's where most people are. In later blog posts, I'll take apart that notion. But in the progression that I'm building, it is important to achieve goals in the physical world. This is an establishment of your personal power and energizes you as a creative and dynamic being.

Goals
If you've been around a lot of heart-based teachers, you probably don't understand why I'm talking about setting goals in relationship to spiritual awakening. You're like, "Shouldn't things just happen." Nope. There's almost always an active co-creation process between you and the universe to bring things in your life. You have to do your part. Every now and then, the universe exercises grace upon us to help us out, but I don't typically recommend waiting around for that.

In any event, I'm not talking about making an awakening a goal. I'm talking about setting goals for yourself for things that you want. If you want to run a jewelry business, then set a goal of starting a jewelry business. If you want a husband or a wife, set a goal of creating that relationship. It's not that you're becoming cold and calculating in this, but it's more than just putting out an amorphous intention and waiting for the universe to come knock on your door. It usually doesn't work that way, but as I said, every now and then you'll get a bone thrown your way. It just may not be the bone you wanted.

The Power of Manifestation
As you develop as a person as well as a spiritual being, knowing how to create the life you want and actualize goals is incredibly empowering. One of the pivotal moments for me was in college. I was in a writer's group that decided it wanted to make a literary anthology. An anthology hadn't been made in seven years, so we pretty much had no idea what we were doing. I happened to be President of the group, and we banded together to do all the fundraising (I never want to sell a bag of frozen cookie dough again, thank you), designing, soliciting of art and writing, bidding on the project, and presenting before the student government for additional financing. It was a heck of an undertaking in my senior year (as you might have guessed, I was a little busy getting ready for graduation). But we did it.

In doing so, I remember one point where I knew that we were in it and couldn't go back very easily. I was like, "Oh my God. How is this going to work?" But six months later, it did. I saw how I could be part of something brand new and undefined and be a guiding force in taking an idea like creating a literary anthology to make it happen. In many ways, this was a very grounding success. It showed me that I could have tangible success in the real world, and I definitely carried this into my career through confidence. That confidence got me a lot of jobs and a lot of leeway to try new things. My bosses trusted my judgment. You see, things really build up off of these moments in our lives, and to be strong in your personal power and ability to make things happen in the world is essential to your spiritual development, especially as things start to shift in your life.

This Still Doesn't Sound Very Spiritual
This is practical spirituality. This is living in the real world. The awakening coming into being in this world isn't going to let everyone go run for the monasteries like in centuries past. It's right that this awareness stays in the world and not hidden. It's where we need it. You may be a spiritual plumber, stay-at-home mom, computer engineer, president, janitor, or any other designation. You're going to need to know how to make stuff happen in your life--not just sit and meditate and pray for hours.

Honing your power of manifestation is also a valuable checkpoint as you build your spiritual foundation. Being able to not just take care of your basic needs, but to be a guiding force to achieve what you want in life is deeply empowering. It's a fire that you can take with you to move through obstacles in life and in yourself. It gives you a deep sense of self-belief without which you will have great difficulty in awakening. Because at awakening, everything falls apart. It's a beautiful kind of destruction, and only the things true to who you really are will stay. Some things will be scaffolding that get you to a certain point. Your goals will likely be scaffolding, but the personal belief and deep trust in yourself will likely remain and be a core internal energy that helps you to withstand the rigors of waking up.

Next blog: The Power of Relationships

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Taming Your Intellectual Power

The chakra (energy center) system typically puts ego and the mind in the third chakra. Personally, I consider it more of a combination of the 6th chakra and the 3rd chakra. The 6th is located at your third eye--a space above the bridge of your nose at the middle of your lower forehead. Usually, the 6th chakra is considered the space of your imagination and your intuition. To me, that's just a little too narrow and a little too right brain-focused. I like to think of the 6th as all the faculties of the mind, which link down to other aspects of our energy system. As I said in earlier posts, I take a lot of different systems and synthesize them to make them useful for me. I'm interested in helping you heal and awaken, and if it means creating a bridge out of baling wire, gum, and cereal boxes, then I'm going to do it if it works for you.

In any event, intellectual power in Western society has been out of control for some time. People are entirely too caught up in their intellectual egos, but intellectual power is an important force. Let's take a moment to talk about how we can bring it back into alignment and service with spirit.

Ego Does Not Equal Evil
Lately, a lot of teachers have really expounded against the ego. It's a natural reaction to the megalomania that has infiltrated itself into society. Everyone wants to be the greatest. Look at the television show American Idol. These poor kids go up there to become these huge icons. Is that happiness? Is that true to who they really are? Or are they just caught up in this fixation with superficial beauty and artificial greatness? People often wonder how the famous can so quickly fall into drugs and other harmful practices, but I get it. They've gone looking for fulfillment, but have followed the path of ego and the programming of society. They are now poorer on the spiritual level and constantly grasping for something to make them feel alive again.

But with all that said, ego is not the problem. Ego is a car. You can drive it off a cliff or drive it to your grandparents. It's just at some point we put it on ego auto-pilot, and we just decided that its programming knew better than our own inner guidance. Either that, or we hooked it up to someone's tow truck to take us somewhere because we thought they knew better than we did. Well, they don't. The ego is a vehicle. You need to get into the driver's seat, take responsibility for the ego you've created, and take the wheel.

Putting Your Ego Up on Blocks and Doing a 5-Point Inspection
Not sure why the car metaphor is so strong today, but anyhoo.... First, you need to stop moving. You need to look in the mirror and take stock. Who have you become? Why do you think you need to be this? Take a long time. For some of you, just doing this will immediately catch you attention. It may be shocking. You may feel anything from being a ruined mess to slightly off-course. You may also realize that you're very beautiful. Your emotions may run the whole gamut, including feeling like you don't know yourself anymore. But this is your creation. All the clothes, hair styles, workouts, and what not have all been part of your creation of this you--this outward ego.

Inside, it gets muckier. You start to listen to the thoughts you've been saying about yourself. You start to hear the programming. In Don Miguel Ruiz's tradition, you are listening to what he calls, "The Voice of Knowledge." This voice isn't necessarily knowledgeable--it's the ego voice that has been talking to you your whole life. At this point, sitting to meditate with your eyes closed can be really helpful. In meditation, you can practice separating yourself from the thoughts and the stories this voice tells you. You may even recognize the voice as that of your father or mother's voice. It doesn't matter who it sounds like though. You are beginning to engage with it and take ownership of it. In meditation, you start to work on creating the space for you--the witness, the one who watches the thoughts because you are not your thoughts.

Your Intellectual Power as Gateway to Enlightenment
It must be said that your intellectual power can be a gateway to enlightenment. When your mind becomes a tool of spiritual awareness and your ego is turned toward the aspiration of awakening, the fire of the third chakra and the focus of your mind become an incredible ally. The ego and mind can become a means to healing issues, finding spiritual tools, and enacting change in your life. The ego and mind won't get you enlightenment. They won't awaken you. You can't think your way through it, but you can get to the doorstep.

Look at it this way. You are creating a mind frame that questions, "Hey, why did I yell at that person?" But it doesn't stop there. Creating what I call a spiritual ego can set up a new program to bring awareness to pain in your body, your energy system, and your heart. It begins running a new process instead of the pain of: "Well, it's that person's fault. He was a jerk. He's always a jerk. I hate him." That's the old self-defensive mechanism that so many people are ingrained with. The old programming also can go a masochistic direction for some people, going: "I'm worthless. I'm bad. I'm mean. I shouldn't yell at people. I should keep quiet." The new process says, "I got really activated about this. What did this person do? They disagreed with me. Why don't I like being disagreed with? I feel like we're not going to succeed on this project if my idea isn't used. What happens if you don't succeed on this project? I'll get in trouble."

You see how this goes. We've already drilled down to an underlying issue of rejection. But it probably goes deeper. Probably, you'll end up in some initial moment in your life where being wrong would lead to being rejected.

Taming the Intellectual Beast: The Ox Returns to Pulling the Cart
For many people, you've got a lot of work to do to grab this bull by the horns. For others, you may have been avoiding your intellectual talents. Perhaps, you weren't given adequate means to develop your mind. Perhaps, you've been frightened by the use of the mind and ego by others so you've given up your responsibility to develop your own will and mind. You've been letting other people tell you what to do. Lastly, you may also have simply preferred to live in a different energy level. A lot of people focus on their bodies (professional athletes, dancers, etc.) or on their hearts (healers, counselors). For those who have not stretched your intellectual mind, I encourage you to begin to do so.

When the intellectual power is owned and the ego tamed, it can create a structure and focus to your spiritual process. It becomes the house that weathers storms and allows your other gifts to grow and expand in safety. The mind and ego are powerful, powerful tools. Bringing them back from the insanity that they've reached in Western society is so very important. In doing so, you'll have established an amazing foothold in your ability to process, to grow, and to expand your life--not just in spirituality, but in general.

Next Post: Achieving Your Goals and the Power of Manifestation

Everyday Spirituality

All my posts and my general methodology is intended to be practical. At heart, my philosophy is to help people find the spiritual tools that meet their needs within the restraints of their given situations. Whether those restraints can be bent, changed, or broken isn't the point initially to building a spiritual practice. Those types of changes come later.

What Is Everyday Spirituality?
Everyday spirituality essentially says this:

1. There are already plenty of great spiritual practices and religious systems.
2. Everyone is different and has different needs and affinities.
3. Spirituality should meet an individual on their level in a meaningful way and be practical in a person's everyday living.

Everyday spirituality blends together different spiritual traditions depending on what is useful and is needed for someone. For instance, someone who needs to open up their voice and better express themselves may do really well with Kirtan chanting or joining a church choir. If someone lives in an area without any groups doing Kirtan chanting, then it's silly to tell the person that they have to open up their voice using that tool. There are lots of ways of doing this, and perhaps there's an opening to sing in a local church choir that could meet that need.

Integrating Heart, Body, Mind, and Soul
Integral yoga systems have shined a light down this corridor, and I am interested in taking spirituality further in this direction. So many spiritual systems stay focused on the mind or high state experiences, but the gift of being a fully embodied spiritual being is to be awakened throughout your whole being: heart, body, mind, and soul. To this end, my teaching and our work together is intended to fully integrate your soul with you in the physical world.

Everyday Spirituality Is Not a New System or Dogma
My goodness there are so many systems out there, and there are so many new systems springing up to deal with the awakening going on globally. We don't need another system. We have plenty of pieces to the puzzle. We just need to put them together in meaningful ways. I have no interest in creating another doctrine or dogma to mold people in. I have no interest in telling anyone to do it the way I prescribe. I am offering what I've experienced, what I know to be true, and what I intuitively know to be true. My gift is in seeing people clearly and offering the tools that I am aware of so that they can create their own system. In creating their own systems, it's important to understand that those systems will be temporary. A spiritual practice or system is scaffolding; it helps to build your connection to the divine. When the connection is fully made, the scaffolding can be removed.

Spirituality Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
You know, I don't know who clothing is designed for. As a tall guy, so much of it doesn't fit me right. I'm sure you've had the same experiences with clothing, and you may have had the same experiences with religion and spirituality. I encourage you to mix and match your spiritual outfits. Do a Buddhist meditation in the morning, have a tantra sexual practice in the afternoon, and then consult a psychic in the evening. On the weekends, go to a moving meditation class and then practice mindful eating through those two days. There are so many different tools, and they all lead back to the same deeper sense of presence in the moment and connection to the divine. If you are fortunate enough that one spiritual tradition meets all your needs, then that's absolutely fantastic. There's nothing wrong with that, so enjoy. You've found your new spiritual community.

Connecting With Me
If what I write resonates with you, please feel free to connect with me on this link. I teach and guide through the phone and online (and in person if you happen to live in Northern California). I really am interested in you discovering your path, but I do understand how confusing and intimidating "spirituality" can be because of misperceptions and society's rigidity. I am happy to help you find what you need to get clear and get started, but the other part of all this practicality is that you have to do the work. Without the regular effort and intention, little can manifest in your life. Working on yourself helps you get to the doorway of awakening.

In a book called, "The Sufis," the author describes how important it is to get the right understanding and spiritual framework. Within that framework, you create the crucible for awakening. Awakening you cannot force. It's a sacred reaction--an awe-inspiring alchemy that happens at the direction of the divine. But if nothing else, in working with me, I hope we can create a healthy spiritual practice that allows you to feel more connected to your life, your work, your family, to the universe, and to you.

If you're just starting out, you can read more blog posts to help you build that spiritual framework and cultivate an awakening on this link.

The photo comes from my friend and reader, Becky Stiller. You can check out her beautiful work on her flickr link.

The Biggest Spiritual Expansion I've Experienced so Far

A friend of mine suggested that I add other voices to this blog awhile back, and while I haven't gotten that friend to do so just yet, the idea opened up a possibility for me--the possibility to begin to turn the blog into more of a chorus than a solo song. So here is the first new chord in this melody. I want to introduce you to my dear friend Susan, whom I've actually never met in person. I've had the amazing experience of watching her spiritual awakening from afar via social networks, emails, and phone conversations, and I must say I am astonished on a regular basis. She is becoming this increasingly radiant and bright soul who has shown the courage to face her fear, her despair, and her grief. While holding space for that, she also found the courage to make space for awakening, spirit, and deep love. It is igniting her.

Okay, I've nearly talked too much, but I want to set the frame for the beautiful new words that follow and will come in future blog post.

Light coming through me from the earth, the concrete, sole of shoe, and piercing up through the heels like a bolt, an explosion of energy--making its way up through the arteries of the legs and through every chakra.

Expansion. Unimaginable expansion beaming from within and radiating outward into layers of bubbles surrounding my whole being. The bubbles are thin but strong at the same time. My being passes through each one as if I am passing through each part of myself, feeling incredible energy flow through me. Visions appear at the base of each bubble. Infant turning into flower, but it isn’t the flower you and I know. Visions I cannot recall now that this surreal experience has passed.

I am not my body. I am displaced like thousands of microorganisms holding this energy. Lower densities sense the darkness of the room, the blur of the circle of people around me, the lull of my spiritual guide’s voice. Yet, the bubbles continue to expand to the point where I feel scared. Scared isn’t even a proper word. The feeling is so foreign. It overwhelms me. If only there was a more positive word than being scared. Wanting to stop the guide’s voice and direct everyone’s attention to what I am experiences. Is this real? Is this the new reality that I thought I beginning to know, but haven’t really experienced until now? Wanting to cry. Wanting to know if the others can feel this too. Wanting to invite them in to share it with me, since even trying to define this experience is diminishing its value as I write.

Spiritual guide, bring me back to my body. What a wonderful experience but how do I come back? Eyes are open yet the bubbles are still growing outward. A few tears of joy roll down my cheek. Maybe they can express this feeling. Can you feel this teacher? Yes I can. He pokes at the bubble as he sits to my right. The ripple effect. I can almost see the indentation. How clear the lining is. What is this? How miraculous. How ridiculous that I have been chosen to see this and embrace it as this time. Freaking out. Every fiber of my being says this is foreign yet it is home. Wonder if Martin Luther ever experienced such a thing.

Higher vibrations continue to resonate. They always have, just never had the awareness, true awareness, until now. The vocal vibration of the “Ong” of the group facilitated me to get to this place. What a simple sound yet profound. Still not grounded. Not wanting this experience to leave. Watching as the others talk amongst themselves, cuddled in their bodies again like swaddled babies. I’m beside myself. Teacher knows.

Lays hands on the top of my feet as he kneels to the earth, where it all began. Slowly, one, two or more layers descend back to me. Yet that is not enough. I feel drunk, high. Head feels fuzzy.  Yet it is so much more than that. Feel drained, yet at peace.  Bag of stones placed in my hands. The layers of bubbles fall much faster now. Heat from my hands radiate into the stone.

I am back to earth. Feeling in my body, my toes. Trying to decipher what just happened, although no judgment or definition needs to be made. It is beautiful. I can remember what it was like, although it wasn’t as intense as the moment it happened. Will I feel it again? To this extent? Blessing from God. Lord thank you for this.

Susan started to cultivate a deeper relationship with the Creator four years ago when she was introduced to the works of Eckhart Tolle's, "The Power of Now" by Jim Tolles. Her life has been transformed in countless ways since then.

Claiming Your Personal Power

Abuse of power has been rampant for centuries. It's occurred on the macro-level with wars across the globe, and it's occurred at the interpersonal level with unkindness in relationships of all sorts. It makes this blog more important in some ways because to embody an awakening will require a lot of firepower. The third chakra--your solar plexus--is representative of fire, and it's the seat of personal power. This is the fire that can help you drive through issues and burn away obstacles. It teaches you how to manifest in the world and to be strong in yourself.

Building Physical Power
When I say "physical," I'm generally referring to any power in the physical world. It also refers to power within your body, and in my personal viewing of the chakras (which really is unique to me and not tied tightly to any system), your relationship with your body can be one of the primal and basic ways of building your physical power.

I already talked about creating a relationship with your body in a very 1st chakra way. The first chakra is concerned about the basic needs for the body. Building power isn't very interesting to it. As long as you've got food in your tummy and are relatively healthy, you're good to go. But at this level of developing personal power, exercise and activities that help you to cultivate and focus your body's physical power can be extremely rewarding, especially if you haven't done this yet in your life. If you haven't done this yet, then jogging, yoga, weight-lifting, biking, hiking, or whatever you do probably seems like an excruciating experience. Good. When you start doing them regularly and see what you can do, it'll be a powerful experience. You'll get to see that, "Yes, I can do this!"

An Early Victory in Personal Power
Personally, I was somewhat active growing up, but I wasn't the little kid constantly running everywhere. I played baseball--and well, it's baseball. When you're standing in the outfield with a windchill of 20 degrees in early spring, you're not getting much exercise. I did have a couple of can do moments, winning some key games as a pitcher, but the bigger "Holy crap! My body is really strong" moment came before my freshman year in high school.

I'd happened to have fallen in with a bunch of guys who were going out for the football team by the end of middle school. I was a tall kid, and well, it's football. Size matters. So I got enrolled in summer weights, and I met my first real physical test of my life. Three hours of intense cardio, lifting, and more cardio with no background in exercise was certainly a shock to the system, which left my doubled-over examining breakfast a couple of times (Yes, I know. I'm being graphic--just keeping it real here). And the first two weeks were grueling, but by the fourth week, I had done it. I was in shape and feeling good at the end of practice as we started catching passing from one of the coaches. I saw what I could do with my body, and it felt good.

Physical Power: Good Habits Stick Around Too
One thing about good habits and childhood lessons is that they stick around. A lot of people on the spiritual path end up having to focus on the bad ones--all the bad programming that has kept us from healing and continues cycles of pain. But there are usually some good lessons in there too. While football didn't work out for me (don't roll your eyes--it sounded fun at the time), I kept the workout ethic. It also became the basis of some strong relationships like my good friend from college, Stan, and my brother. It helped me to feel strong and powerful. I felt like I was able to take on a lot of challenges, and it provided a coping mechanism to clear out stress. While my workout routine has changed a lot in recent years, that internal barometer for what I need to do to feel healthy and the tenacity to do it remains.

I Can Do It
As you come into a spiritual practice, you're going to hit snags. There will be hard moments. This is where the value of having a strong sense of personal power in your body is so crucial. All those wonderful little endorphins kick in after a workout that say to you in the face of difficulty, "Yes, I can." And you can. But be sure to find a workout that fits you. It should be rigorous at times, but not grueling. Winning marathons won't necessarily get you anywhere on this path. It all leads back to you eventually. But where you win is finding this core of strength that likes to show up in the physicality of life, and in doing so, you've added one more tool to your toolbox to help you transmute difficulty and to walk confidently.

Next blog: Taming Your Intellectual Power 

The photo comes from my friend and reader, Becky Stiller. Please feel free to check out her beautiful work on her flickr link.

Finding Your Creativity

Building off the last post about sexuality, I'm focusing on igniting and harnessing creativity. Sexuality and creativity go hand in hand: sex creates life. But there is more to the idea of creativity than bringing babies into the world. In the spiritual process, I've found that creativity is essential to moving into and through an awakening.

What Is Creativity?
Flowing from the second chakra, creativity enriches our lives with a passion for new endeavors and new relationships. Creativity is often thought of in terms of art and writing. There's no doubt that those are embodied forms of creativity, and as I've mentioned, sex is one of the penultimate creative processes that we can engage in as human beings. But creativity can appear in virtually any situation that you're making something new, be it a business, a computer program, or a new bathroom. Creativity is simply the act of creating.

Creativity and Spiritually Awakening
Creativity is absolutely essential on so many levels with a spiritual awakening. In an awakening, you are re-creating yourself. You are rebirthing yourself. That's a powerful and intense process, and to walk down the path to ignite the awakening, you're actively deciding to engage in this self re-creation. This requires a lot of determination and passion to do so. You have to really, really want it. It's not an easy road because each of us has to do it for the first time. You'll need to create a lot of the steps and situations to bring it to fruition. You can't follow someone else's formula entirely, and no matter how many other people awaken, your awakening will be uniquely yours.

Creativity as a Processing Tool
I haven't talked too much about processing in these posts, but it's an integral piece of the puzzle. Processing is absorbing the lessons that you've learned and the energy moving into your life in a meaningful way to you. It helps you to fully integrate all the things that have happened in your life. As you do so, other issues can move or fall away. You stand more fully in your light.

One of the big problems that I see in committed seekers is an inability to stop and just process. This literally can mean lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. I know. Not very exciting, but in really high energy states, it may be all that you can do. At other times, accessing your creativity to paint or draw feelings and vague ideas that you can't express can be really helpful. I've already talked about how helpful journaling is my spiritual tools of the trade blog post. Using your creativity to write, draw, sculpt, mold, weld, or whatever outlet you choose can be an amazing expression for all the energy moving through you and an awesome chance to explore your creativity, especially if you've never felt like a creative person before.

Heavy-Lifting and Creativity
The heavier lifting part of using your creative energy will appear in creating a new job situation, creating a new relationship with yourself from top to toe, and creating new relationships with others. In the past years and now, I've expended enormous amounts of energy to create new situations to support me where I was at for that time. Let's be serious: a job search is a lot of energy. You are actively putting energy out into the world to create a new relationship with a group of people (i.e., a business). A lot of times that energy isn't reciprocated (i.e., you didn't get the job). But you repeat the process over and over until something connects.

When you are awakening, you really are re-creating yourself. I can't stress enough how much energy it takes to re-work the internal relationships you have with yourself. For instance, you're used to eating a certain way. Now you can't eat that way anymore. It's doesn't feel good. Beer and hot dogs make you physically ill. You have to create a new diet. So you search for new recipes and ideas, eat new things, and expend a lot of energy just with this one shift. That's a lot of creation, and it's a powerful process. It will change your life when you let it.

Rejuvenating Creativity
Now that you see that creativity is a really expansive thing, you can see how easily it is to wear out when you're awakening. There's so much going on. While creativity also gets fueled by connections to the divine (7th chakra) and a kind of marriage between self expression (5th chakra) and imagination (6th chakra), I really feel like the 2nd chakra is the key driver and supporter a lot of the time. Having a sexual practice as I mentioned before is one key supporter to keep yourself rejuvenated. Being creative with writing and art always seems to link me back up to the divine rather naturally through my crown chakra (7th). You can also do active visualization, bringing white light down through the center of your head into the area below your belly-button to nourish your second chakra, home of your creativity. If nothing else, take a bath, sit in a hot tub, or take a nap. Sometimes it's the simple basic things that help most.

As you build creative practices for yourself, you may be surprised what you create in your life. Allowing your imagination to run around like a little child can be illuminating. What do you want to make in life if you could make anything? Have fun. Be a kid. And you'll find that you're more creative than you've ever thought you could be.

Next blog: Claiming Your Personal Power

Testimonials

The following are some testimonials and reviews about working with me.

"In my journey back to Spirit over the last seven years or so I've lay in, crawled, and walked through some very dark, scary, lonely, and unfamiliar places. I've sought answers, insight, wisdom, anything, and everything I felt could help me shed some light on this life's darkness, confusion, loneliness, and despair.

I painstakingly battled through, then learned to learn from, years of dealing with all of this through misuse of alcohol; clingy, needy and hideout relationships; bulimia; and many paths that were keeping me so far from myself.

Throughout my climb out of my own hell I found many great teachers in the form of spiritual authors, therapists, and awakened souls, but none played such an integral part in my coming home as this site, Jim's wonderful work, and Jim himself.

Words often feel so lacking in their ability to point to something indescribable as do these right now in my attempt to explain what Jim and his work have gifted me in my journey. It's quite ironic to say that considering it was the words in this blog that spoke directly to my soul, to my spirit and that had me in tears of relief as I first experienced the open, loving, egoless, truth filled pages here.  The pure honesty, clarity of vision of life, integrity, humor, compassion, understanding, wisdom, and unconditional love with which these pages are filled was and is heart warming and soul soothing!

That day there was the first of many full breaths, relaxing into and dropping into my deeper true self, letting go, trusting in, and allowing of my spirit to spring forth in all its fabulousness and fullness. I knew instantaneously I had finally found the  garden holding the glistening gate home.

Over the next year I sat daily in this garden filling myself up on its freedom finding truths,  making much use of the many freely offered tools and just feeding my very soul on it's nurturing and nourishing soil...This was my haven as I paved my way back home.

After this year, I felt intuitively moved to contact Jim and did so without hesitation.

From the very beginning I felt a deep, honest, and open connection with Jim as though I had always known him.  I found and find his non-judgmental, absolute and palpable presence, sense of humor, gentleness, and the ease with which he holds a space creates a safe, comfortable, and unconditionally accepting cocoon in which I could let go into my own unique metamorphosis.

Within a very short period I was comfortable enough to let down my walls and drop into some extremely dark, closed-off, and scary spaces within myself knowing that Jim was holding and supporting me in it.

He was very clear from the beginning that he would not advise me or tell me what to do as I have my own inner guide--my own knowing to follow--but that he would support me and shine the light of my own awareness wherever it needed to go. With Jim's support I learned and practiced trusting this knowing which I had lost the ability to do.

His patience, empathy, kindness, support, encouragement, care, and love have been and still are unwavering.  There's never been a silly question, a question asked too many times, a place too dark for him to visit with me, a judgment, or anything I could possibly have a bad word to say about.

The biggest thing, among many, that I have learned from Jim is to trust in myself, trust in my inner knowing, my spirit.

In learning to trust again my life has changed so much, especially in the last year, and although there have been dark places visited, there have been invaluable realizations, releases, and shifts. My Spirit is back with a capital S singing it's soulful song :)

Knowing that Jim is there and was going to be there for all our sessions created the essential cocoon I needed to come back to my singing spirit self.

Jim, I am eternally grateful for all that I've been blessed to receive through you just being you. The pure love and light that you're sharing, teaching about, and spreading is a sacred gift that I am again blessed to experience and to also witness through your work.

I could go on forever but will simply and wholeheartedly say, "thank you" from my depths. You have given more than can be said to this one soul as I know you have and will do many more."

--Rach D.
Ireland


"Jim Tolles has been a huge catalyst in my spiritual awakening, which began 5 years ago. For me, it did not begin at a specific place or time, but has been a continuing evolution of becoming aware of the vast depths of my Truth.  I had no concept of where to turn to in regards to support on this very unique path. That's when God put Jim in my life. I knew he was an authentic source of guidance for me when he refrained from projecting his own opinions, making sure to always remind me that I have my own answers. He showed unconditional respect, patience, and compassion as I released seemingly unsurpassable amounts of pain and began to embody all that which I AM. Jim never forced me to go to places of healing I wasn't ready for.

He's also a great tuning fork for pointing me to others that could help me continue to grow. This concept of being dispensable is proof that Jim is not doing this work for his own personal growth, but for each person's highest good. After being his student for over a year, I decided to take a break from our regular sessions and embody these tools into my daily life. Since then, I've found myself being more grounded in the embodiment of my Truth more than ever before. Jim encouraged me to make my dreams a reality when I didn't have faith and didn't know what I wanted. With that, I am learning aspects of natural movement therapies. I am also able to express my own gift as an energetic healer through my career in physical therapy.

Jim mentioned to me to look into Kundalini Yoga some time ago. Since then Kundalini Yoga has become one of my primary daily practices, and I am now highly involved in my local Kundalini Yoga community. Now that I am my own reference point for my source of Joy, I  have the most fulfilling and healing relationships I have ever had in my life so far. This process, however, does not have an end. I am evolving and shifting all the time, which is why the invaluable tools Jim has shared with me continue to provide avenues of healing and clarity for me. Everything we have talked about in the past continues to be embodied in my daily life. So when I am going through difficult shifts, I have the ability to see myself as a witness to what is happening and yet feel the depths of it simultaneously.
Needless to say, Jim is offering healing for our collective Consciousness in many ways now and to come."

--Susan T.
Oregon
USA

"As I began my spiritual awakening, I was struggling to find the help and guidance that I really needed.  I was led to Jim's website, and we began to exchange e-mails and phone conversations.  Jim was very knowledgeable with his own direct experiences and helped to guide me with my own awakening.  Jim is very non-judgmental and provided unconditional support.

Thanks again for all of your help and support!"

--Jason B.
California
USA

Online Third-Party Review of the Blog
Here was a nice review that got done about my blog and me.

Jim Tolles' Spiritual Awakening Process
by Lisa Pena
Pure Xahir.com

Profiles and Stories from People About Spiritual Awakening

Here's a really cool story about an awakening and my ebook.

A Profile in Spiritual Awakening 

Other Reviews and Feedback for the Blog

"This is the BEST spiritual site I have ever read on the internet. I am going through an awakening and I look forward to reading your blogs. Every question I have is being answered. Thank you for being a channel to all who can receive." 

-- Diane E.

"Thank you for the beautiful blog you have put together. You have to have the best spiritual awakening blog around. You have put a lot of effort into it. Thank you. It has a wealth of information for those trying to find their way…  it's very inspiring..."

-- Joe M.

The photo comes from my friend and reader, Becky Stiller. You can check out her beautiful work on her flickr link. 

The Door

There is a door in a room in my heart where all the things I've ever wanted are locked away. I looked high and low for the key. I went to far off distant places, and I talked to far off distant gurus. But they did not have it. I checked under rock and stone until one day, I reached in my pocket. And in that pocket, I found that key with a tag saying, "Not to be used until the time is right." And now that that time has come, I am turning the nob.

But with each subtle twist of creaky, cranky, screaming metal and the growing, sinewy resistance in my wrist--the muscles screaming to go back--I feel the yearning for easier ways of being. For easier well-known paths where others have laid brick and mortar for my tremulous feet. It makes me wonder if the time is right. Have I been too bold? Too brazen? Too audacious in my desire to claim my life? Has that desire infiltrated the purity of aspiration to swing back around on me in the double-whammy of sublime come-uppance.

The creak is giving way to an easier twist, and the latch clicks. An echo reverberates in the house, announcing the change. Things are in motion, and I find that I've created a new inertia in my life. The door starts to swing wide just as a beam in the back of the room behind me crashes to the ground. The old house, my beautiful, lovely home is falling apart. I had not noticed. I had not realized. So much of the old structure is collapsing no longer able to support itself.

I look in the dismay. Feeling like Lot, knowing that I should return my gaze forward. The deliciousness of nostalgia wraps around me like a well worn blanket. I begin to falter.

A hand on my wrist. A gentle glowing, etheric hand catches my attention from beyond the door. A beckoning. A subtle reminder of what I had sought now so close at hand. Ah yes. I remember. I remember again. I step into the unknown.

Spiritual Sexuality: Meeting and Igniting Your Creative Powers

I've been chewing on this topic in my head for awhile because there's so much to say about it. For this post, I'm going to focus on spiritual sexuality within the context of the individual and not the duality melting into union. Western Tantra teachers make a point of re-orienting students in their views of sexuality towards how they create a sexual practice with themselves. This is a bit of a revelation for most people. Most people only ever think of sex in terms of having a partner, and let's be serious: that totally rocks. But since this blog post is at the beginning of building a broader foundation, let's keep it simple and talk about how you can come to an authentic place with your sexuality on your own before mixing it up with someone else.

Levels of Sexual Dysfunction
I know this blog post and others like it are up against a lot of taboos and communication dysfunction. There is an intense level of shame around sexuality in the U.S. culture. There are lots of possible reasons for the existence of this shame. Some look at this shame as a form of social control. Others look at it as an offshoot of the Christian original sin concept, which in many ways can be viewed as a form of religious control. I simply know that shame is a heavy and terrible energetic impasse. Shame is the five hundred pound barbell that weighs people down and crushes them. Through shame, sexual dysfunction grows more and more prevalent. It turns sexuality into a reactive element as a person tries to get the connection he or she is craving through means that don't give the person that nourishment. This in turn creates continued pain cycles.

One common cycle is that of dominance and submission. This is a much bigger theme than what happens in the bedroom. If you look at sports, all of sports is a dominance and submission process. Businesses are always trying to dominate each other in the marketplace. The same thing happens between men and women as they try to get what they want/need. People will cycle through numerous partners seeking that thing that they need--whatever they may think that is.

Understanding Desire
In this context, the underlying purpose of the union is a desire or a need. When I use the term desire, I am saying that you think you need something outside of yourself to be happy or complete. There are countless desires, such as the desire for money or even the desire to help. This last one is a tricky one because it hides itself in a noble pursuit. But when you really get your arms around it, you realize that this desire is seeking a feeling of self-gratification and social approval. In sex, desire is pretty obvious; you may want to feel fulfilled, released, physically loved, held, and many other things. To feel these things is absolutely fine, but there's a big difference between trying to get these things from your partner versus allowing them to arise in the moment through genuine love and appreciation.

Sexuality in the Space of Service
Part of turning sexuality from a purely carnal act into a spiritual act is turning it from a drive to "get" something or achieve a feeling into a form of service. Service is about giving and receiving. When two people are authentically focused on giving and receiving love, the space of sexuality and its creative forces start to open up. The more you're simply in service to your lover and to the moment, the more any outcome from the union is okay. You are letting go of your desire for an outcome and letting go of control of yourself, your partner, and the moment. This is where deeper fulfillment can step in.

But to be in this space, I think it's important to begin to create that space of service for yourself in your own sexual practice. In doing so, you begin to understand how you are ultimately the one who influences your own fulfillment. As you grow yourself in your sexual practice, your demands on a partner and what you think you need in sex will greatly shift and diminish.

Speaking of Sexual Shame
When I talk about a personal sexual practice, I am talking about masturbation--at least in part. Masturbation is often one of the great cultural symbols of shame. It can represent romantic failure--failure to find a partner. However, for the sake of your spiritual development, masturbation is incredibly important. It allows you to develop your service towards yourself in pleasure. It lets you dip into your creative powers. In my own life, my writing becomes more and more prolific the more open my sexuality is.

You see, this creative force not only makes children, but it can serve many other parts of the creation process. If you want to get rid of writer's block or mental blocks in general, go more deeply into your sexuality. What makes you feel good? What things and images come up for you when you're in that space? Your sexuality has a whole set of stories much like the rest of your body. You need to start listening.

Awakening the Kundalini
Sacred sexuality has a whole level of energy work that can go with it and can ignite the kundalini. The kundalini is an energy system in the form of a double helix running from the base of your spine to the crown of your head. This is the freeway to enlightenment. Igniting this creative energy will rebirth you. It's a hugely powerful process, and a lot of people warn new practitioners to expect their lives to change if they really delve into a spiritual sexual practice, which can ignite the kundalini.

If you are new to spiritual practice, I encourage you to find a teacher if you are drawn to Western Tantra. There are a variety of types of Western Tantra being practiced. The more traditional types of Tantra don't focus heavily on sexuality, as sexuality is a small piece of a whole system. Western Tantra seems to focus pretty heavily on sexuality--I think it's Western Society's way of adding back in a major piece that has gotten excluded and condemned in the religious culture.

Spiritual Sexuality, Healing, and the Gateway to Enlightenment
Like I said, this is one of the freeways to enlightenment, but you're probably going to find some heavy issues at times. It depends on you and your path, of course. For the purposes of starting a spiritual practice, simply acknowledge that they're there. There are lots of ways of moving and clearing sexual issues. I'll talk about them in later blogs.

If you have a background of sexual abuse, these links at way2hope.org and at RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) can help you deal with those issues as well. Both victims and perpetrators need to be healed, and there are lots of external programs that can provide much needed tools, community, and assistance. Done in combination with a spiritual practice, you can find the hope and the help that you've been seeking to fully heal.

Wherever you are in your life, your pain, or your spirituality, a dedicated spiritual sexual practice is an essential part of the awakening process. It can help you to heal and expand in ways that you might never have imagined possible.

Next blog: Finding Your Creativity

The Power of Family

Having already talked about your ability to take care of yourself and create a new relationship with your body, family is also paramount to pretty much everyone. It's another one of the most basic, bottom-level issues that dictates just about everything else in your life. Many people never realize this, and they pretty much live with the social programming in tact that they got from their families. Others move into a place of intense resistance to just about all the programming. Both ways can be problematic. So let's talk through the power and importance of family as we look for a middle way.

What Is Family?
Concept of family seems simple enough, but I won't assume that everyone grows up in the four person nuclear family. This, like many other things, is a Western society illusion--a program saying how life should look. Family is any person or group of people who help take care of you growing up. We've all heard plenty of stories about how a coach or a teacher in school can make a huge difference on someone's life. In many respects they step into the space of family, and they can also add to or shift the cultural programming in a person's mind, body, heart, and soul.

More commonly accepted is that a family has a mom and a dad. How common this is in practice worldwide, I won't guess. But at one point a man and woman came together, and their joining had an amazing effect; they created you. How they were during sex is one of the first key junctures for a person. Energetically, their love or lack thereof tells a story to your energy. It is the first of countless stories that parents tell both verbally and energetically about relationships. The stories continue on through infancy, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. They tell you how to eat, survive, be with other people, fight, grieve, be intimate, be angry, be happy, be loved, give, receive, and so many other things. All of this is sitting down at the bottom part of you--the first energy center of you.

Acknowledging the Power of Family
For my friends who have lots of difficult issues focused around family, you know that clearing these is not a small task. It's a worthy one, and it's an important one. But for the sake of this blog post and the series of posts I'm writing, it's only important to acknowledge the influence family has had over you. Begin to bring awareness to all the issues you've had with your family. Don't try to fix them unless this is a near and present thing for you. If it is, then you've found a key piece to work on to build your spirituality. For others, I simply want you to put your attention there.

In my own life, I've noticed that as I grow, I cycle back to different issues. One of the great things about the spiritual path is that it has cycles. It's kind of whirling dervish. As you gain deeper insights and expand your spiritual toolkit, you come back to issues with more awareness and ability to heal. You have a little broader perspective and more ability to deal with things that you couldn't deal with before. So many things here may be put aside as you--to quote a friend--build your tower to connect to the divine. You can't avoid your family issues on this path. But you can get help and support before you have to face those concerns.

The Gift of Family
For as many issues and--in some cases--abuses, family may bring upon us, family also may have offered you a lot of gifts. They may have taught you a lot of wonderful things that allow you to be happy and to achieve the things that you want to achieve. They took care of you when you were little and sacrificed so that you could have the things that you needed and wanted. I've noticed that there isn't a lot of gratitude referenced around family at times. I may simply be around too many spiritual work-aholics (which is kind of an oxymoron, but I can get into that later). However, as you go down the path, many of us start to see this family programming and the larger cultural programming inside of us. It's the type of thing where the more you clean out the issues inside, the more the remaining ones stand out. And even after all that work, the family issues can still be looming large. However, it is so important to return to love and gratitude with your family as you move through these issues.

Furthermore, a separation starts to happen in your eyes as you get clear. You start to own the issues that you associated with your family instead of projecting them all onto your father, your mother, your sister, or your brother. You will see the issues as separate even as your family members are acting them out. You start to appreciate how they're caught up in the programming, and that it has nothing to do with you.

In many respects, this line of thinking is straight out of Don Miguel Ruiz's The Mastery of Love. Your family is caught up in a story. And that story is theirs and not yours. Bringing your awareness to this fact will bring you some peace, and then you can see even more clearly where you're still hooked into stories and programming that now can be deleted, healed, or transmuted.

Handling Severe Family Dysfunction
I do want to say that there are some situations where the best thing you can do is to remove yourself or find external help. Issues include:

• Physical abuse
• Severe emotional abuse
• Sexual abuse

You may one day be able to engage with deep love and compassion with your family around this, and if so, that's an amazing and profound space to be in. It's certainly not impossible, but if you've been surrounded by this for a long time, you need to get help immediately. Mostly likely, you'll need to find a new living situation. Here's a link to some help from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services concerning domestic abuse, child abuse, and other issues.

Clearing the Root Chakra
Clearing root chakra issues is a lot of work because those issues are so ingrained. I've spent a good deal of time clearing issues around financial scarcity from my energy and being pretty terrified during the process. But in doing so, I continue to find more and more abundance in my life on multiple levels.

If you put your attention to this foundational area of your life, you will see a lot of patterns learned from your parents and your extended family. Just bring awareness to these. As I build up towards the heart and the mind in these blog posts, you'll see where these basic programs have influenced how you feel, think, and be. We will return to these issues later, but for now, know that they're there and know that they can be healed.

Next blog: Spiritual Sexuality: Meeting and Igniting Your Creative Powers 

Today's beautiful photo is a gift from my regular reader, Becky Stiller. Thanks!

Creating a New Relationship with Your Body

The Bottom of the Bottle

Your body is your temple, and yada-yada-yada. Let's just say that if your body breaks down, this whole ride of being alive ends real fast. In this time of collisions, it often seems like the body is being treated as at least a third-class citizen. I think about all the kids playing sports, and they're hitting each other so hard that you have teens and early-twenty somethings having major knee surgeries. Their parents and grown-ups encourage this. Lord knows how they'll even walk by the time they're fifty.
Obesity Worldwide
Plus, there's the obesity epidemic in this country. Whoops. I spoke too soon. I mean the obesity epidemic in the world. According to the World Health Organization, over 1 billion people are overweight. One Billion! Three hundered million are considered clinically obese, and some of the fastest growing obesity rates are in developing countries. Internationally, people don't know how to eat properly anymore.

Creating a New Relationship with Your Body
Look, you don't even have to read this blog as a spiritual thing. Just read it as a practical thing. You need to take care of yourself. Broken bones and poor nutrition are going to reduce your lifespan. If you really are okay with a shorter lifespan, then you can move onto another blog. I'm sure there's a new posting on Youtube of cute kittens doing something.

But if you do care, let's drill down a little bit to the beginning: your relationship with your body. Do you like your body? How do you treat it? How do the foods that you eat make you feel? These are important questions, and ones that you may want to take some time to talk to a friend about or to journal. Many people use food as fuel--as a way to get through a day. Many people are just trying to get through. They don't think about the costs of all the hamburgers, and then after they've had a long stressful week, many people drown their feelings in alcohol. And in case you don't think alcoholism is a big deal, here's another stat: "An estimated 43% of US adults have had someone related to them who is presently, or was, an alcoholic."

That's a lot of pain and suffering. Any kind of substance dependency is a sign of deep unhappiness within. This blog isn't intended to dive into stopping substance dependencies, and if you somehow stumbled onto this page and need that, please use this link to a government drug and alcohol treatment locator. However, I am simply building the argument that people don't treat their bodies well, and it's incredibly prevalent.

Why Don't I Love Me?
This is a big question, and it should be something that you spend a lot of time getting to know. Drug and alcohol abuse, over-eating, undereating, insane work-out regimens, and so many other physically abusive practices inhibit who you really are. A lot of times, they happen because we're trying to be something that we're not. You have to stop. Being skinny or muscular doesn't make you better. Drinking or using drugs to fit in doesn't make you more likeable. Burying your feelings under mountains of food can't hide you from you.

You Are Already Beautiful
At some point, we all forgot that we're already beautiful. You really are. I'm using the "you" narrative voice very specifically because I want you to read it. You probably haven't had enough people tell you it, and maybe this is the first time in a long time that you've read it. "You are beautiful." Read it out loud a couple of times. Swap the "I am" in for the "You are." Practice the words. You probably don't believe it. Maybe you're even a little emotional. For women, this may mean some tears if it's really striking a cord. That's okay. That's part of the process. For men, this may mean cynicism and derisive comments. That's okay. We've had it tough in a lot of societies to think of ourselves in these terms. If you're having a reaction, then something is moving inside, and that's an important first step.

Cultivating New Regimens and Diets
This is a long process. Even after I moved into awakening, I continued to try and lift weights. I tried to hold onto an image of my body that isn't what my body wanted to be. In all honesty, it's taken about 3 years to really let go of that modality of fitness. I literally finally canceled my gym membership about a month ago after countless trips to the gym where working out didn't feel right and my body just resisted the resistance training

Now, I'm working to find the right mix of movements that make my body happy and make it feel most alive. Currently, yoga, ecstatic/conscious dance, and occasionally running are working for me. That may change tomorrow. I've learned that I have to be flexible.

My diet has changed pretty significantly over the last couple of years. I eat very little bread and much less meat. None of this has to do with an intellectual desire to eat a certain way. It's simply what has arrived. Fruit smoothies are the current flavor of the day for me. They seem to work really well with my digestion.

Finding the Right Nourishment for You
What works for me, won't necessarily work for you. I've already blogged more deeply about food and spirituality on this link. I don't expect you to over-turn your diet over night. You know what needs to happen. It may be that this is a major blocking point to your spiritual growth. You may find all kinds of interesting issues tied up with when and how you eat. Do you eat when you're upset? Do you eat because you're bored? Which foods do you choose? The biggest change that I made that helped me start moving into spiritual awakening was to stop drinking alcohol entirely. It wasn't a problem, but I felt at one point that it was getting in the way. All the other food changes came about much more gradually for me. I was already pretty healthy though, so in some ways, I already had a very strong physical force to hold and enhance the shifts that would come.

This is a lot of major stuff. Food and exercise are one of the daily ways you tell your body how you feel about it. This is all part of building your foundation. I write this way because I don't want you trying to hide in your mind or in some altered state that some guru gets you into. Much of the most important spiritual work you can do is down here on this bottom, basic level. It can also be some of the most rewarding on a daily basis because your body will feel cleaner, lighter, and healthier. For that alone, you'll find that building a new relationship with your body is worth it because you are worth it.

Next blog: The Power of Family 

Today's picture comes from my student, Jenn.

Building Your Spiritual Foundation

I've written about a lot of different starter topics to give you the basic tools that you're going to need to really cultivate spirituality in your life. I've written about the importance of reading spiritual literature and about the purpose of meditation. I've talked about how to use your intuition, what god is, and what spirituality is. Now it's time to put the basics into action and actively develop your awareness in the real world. If you haven't been reading my past blogs, I'm collecting the ones for cultivating a spiritual awakening on this link.

Taking Care of Yourself
A lot of people have a view of spirituality that seems to apply to only the most abstract and high energy experiences. I don't have that view. I believe that spirituality is in everything, and subsequently, everything can become a gateway to accessing it. For starters, you want to consider the bottom, most essential part of your life: shelter, food, and taking care of your means for survival. This is your base. Before we go wandering about in seas of endless love, we need to take care of our basic means. A starving person doesn't go very far on the spiritual path except through physical death.

Your Work
If you don't have a stable source of income, now is the time to find one. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be focused on saving the world. So long as it doesn't involve degrading yourself or selling harmful products/substances, you'll probably be okay. You can be an enlightened plumber, teacher, property manager, cook, astro-physicist, or many other occupations. At this point in this series of blog posts, what matters is that you find a job to be mostly okay with and that meets your basic needs.

Knowing Your Basic Needs
I know that you may feel like I'm being really pragmatic, but you can also think of spirituality like a Mazlow's Pyramid of needs. Generally speaking, you gotta take care of the base of the pyramid before growing up into the higher spaces. So now's a good time to have some kind of ledger and be aware of your finances. If you aren't meeting your financial needs, then you need to take a look at the lifestyle that you're leading. Many people in Western Culture have no clue what their basic needs are. It's time to bring some awareness to that. Because you don't really need 500 channels of TV, the latest iPhone, or any of this other stuff that suddenly has become "must-have." You're bought into someone else's ideas for you, and if you have mounting debt, you're in a state of depleted energy.

Money Is Not Evil
Money is not evil; it's just a tool. So long as you're earning it honestly, having a lot of money flow towards you suggests an alignment with your life and the universe. This isn't always quite true, but usually, I've found it to be the case in my life. If you end up in a situation where you are constantly losing money, then you need to look at what you consider to be basic needs. If you really are living frugally, then you need to consider a job change or career change to put yourself in a position to meet your needs. And when I say meet your needs, I don't mean get rich. I mean that you can pay all your bills, stay out of debt, and potentially put a little money away for savings. If you like, consider your savings bank as a growing source of energy that will help you to overcome obstacles in life and create a broader sense of safety and security for yourself.

Safety and Security for the Root Chakra
Some of you may have already guessed that I'm talking about a lot of issues involved in the root chakra. Building safety and security for this foundational energy center gives you a sense of strength and durability. It's essential for you as you build into the path. Everyone has different issues, so if this isn't a big issue for you, then congratulations. You have already taken care of a major issue. But for many others, money is a constant struggle. If that's true, then let's start to dig a little deeper.

I Can Never Get Ahead
Now, we need to start getting the tools out. The journal is probably one of the most important to start with. So why can't you get ahead? Are you spending too much? Are you underestimating your own value? Begin with these and other questions that come to you. It's important to really dig into these issues. As you go deeper, one answer may lead to a truth even deeper inside you. What are your immediate objections that come up in your mind? Do you need to turn to friends and outside support for help? If so, your spiritual community becomes a great source of support and insights. Down in the first chakra, there are some big issues that are often linked to our families that can be at work. We take a lot of cues on what kinds of work we do from our parents. If you became a plumber just because your father was a plumber and you can't make ends meet, perhaps you need to re-evaluate whether this career truly serves you and your talents.

This is the tip of the iceberg. So many major issues can reside in this energy center. You don't need to solve them all initially, but you will notice that the unresolved ones will continue to cycle back into your life for resolution as you grow spirituality. The big thing is making sure that you can keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. If that is happening for you, then we can move on to other topics.

Next up in the blog list is about food and your relationship to your body, as we look to build a safe space for spirit to manifest in your life.

Next blog: Creating a Relationship with Your Body 

The photo comes from my friend and reader, Becky Stiller. Please feel free to check out her beautiful work on her flickr link.