Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Awakening Your Sexuality

I've written blog posts about connecting with your sexuality and facing sexual dysfunction so that you can heal it. Now it's time to talk a little more about how to really awaken it.

Cultivating a Spiritual Sexual Practice
Sexuality is a doorway to enlightenment. It's transformative. Just ask anyone who has had children. But keep in mind that the power of sexual energy can be used for more than procreation and pleasure. In the power of orgasmic energy, your whole body can be awakened or healed. This is a powerful thing to grapple with, and it has its own intelligence. One of the biggest pieces to all of this is learning how to allow and be with your body intelligence.

Awakening to Your Sexual Intelligence
You know what turns you on, but do you know why? This is an important point of exploration. It can give you the keys to where you need to go with your sexuality and the things you need to heal. A lot of sexuality works through this aggressive male/passive female paradigm, and you may want to delve into why that is a turn on (it may not be for everyone, but it's pretty prevalent). In a lot of ways, this links into a flight or fight mechanism that is confused and twisted into arousal. When someone starts waking up, these old ways of arousal don't work anymore or are unsatisfying. It's the hot, semi-desperate, We-can't-get-out-of-our-clothes-fast-enough drive that is really more of a primal sexual urge to procreate. Sure, it has it's place, but in and of itself, it's less about a deeper fulfillment than continuing the human race.

However, procreation is an important part of sexual intelligence. Delving into your sexuality further will teach you a lot about yourself, your family's history, and your body. Your sexuality and your body are very intelligent, and they store tons of history. They know what does and does not work for you. They know where past pain and family cycles of pain are stored. The power of the orgasmic energy can shake up your entire energy structure. It's very much alive and moving, and while I've mentioned how it can fire up the kundalini to lead towards awakening, it can also clear out and enliven your whole body in more than just the elation of endorphins and physical release sort of way.

Riding Your Orgasmic Energy
Learning how to ride your orgasmic energy is taught in Taoist and Western Tantra practices. I'm sure that there are other paths out there, but these are two that I'm aware of. A lot of learning to ride your orgasm's energy throughout your body is to simply bring awareness to how your body feels through the release. For men, it's often about stopping the ejaculation, although in my own practice there's a lot of energy you can move even with ejaculation. However, guys still need to understand that there's a big difference between orgasm and ejaculation.

The roll of energy that pours through your body is immensely powerful, and you have to learn how to be with it and to trust it. It may even be scary and overwhelming as you allow it more and more freedom. This involves letting go of the sexual experience that you want to have. Anywhere you are holding onto control, you're going to get in trouble, and you won't allow the fullness of your sexual experience to happen. But when you are allowing, things can get healed or awakened in your body. This is an amazing alchemical moment, and it can lead to profound realizations as things ripple up into your awareness. Some questions to hold lightly (because you don't really want to be thinking too much) are:
  • Where in my body do I feel the release and the energy?
  • Do certain areas feel a bigger release? What is going on with those parts of my body normally?
  • Does the energy move to different parts of my body? How does it feel?
It is life changing, and you may soon see changes in how you are and how people respond to you in your regular life. Keep a journal of things that appear to change after you create a dedicated personal sexual practice.


Not Fighting or Controlling Your Sexuality or the Moment
But to move into an awakened sexuality, you can't fight or control the experience. In all of this, it is still very much about you and your personal sexual practice. Partnership is powerful, but until you allow your experience to be what it is, you probably won't be able to allow your partner to have whatever experience he or she needs to have. This is part of coming into service to yourself and your sexuality. Just trying to get off doesn't work here. Trying to make yourself feel better about things that aren't going well in life won't work here. It's actually about a deeper vulnerability that will take you through the pain, and the orgasm's energy can help you feel it and release it. The more clear you become, the more easily you can fall into an awakened state. The deeper space you can hold, the more space you will have to come into a new kind of union with a lover.

Awakened Sexuality
In coming blog posts, I'll talk a little more about what an awakened sexuality is. It is not promiscuity. It is not necessarily heterosexual or monogamous. It has a freedom to it that burns through attachments. It's a very powerful thing as I've mentioned repeatedly, and that's part of the reason that it scares people. Having a dedicated personal spiritual sexual practice is crucial. I have one that I go through on a daily basis, and it involves breathwork, energy visualization, and self-stimulation. It's pretty amazing the energy that can move through my body. Developing one for yourself is a lot of fun actually, and giving yourself the regularity of the practice will help you to develop and cultivate your sexual awareness.

Ultimately, your sexuality is one of the greatest powers you own. You can create life, and you can re-create your own life. It will break down the walls that you've built, and it will show you just how easy it is to connect through oneness through the power that is living inside you.

Next blog: Awakening Your Sexuality With a Partner
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