Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Clarity During Transition
Times of transition are difficult for most people. Transition is often accompanied by feelings of fear, anxiety, and the need to be in control. This can happen for most people on a daily basis. However, it is more acceptable to society to have these feelings during times of greater transitions, such as changing jobs, moving, and even the falling apart and coming together of relationships. I was one of the many that struggled with change. I wanted things to stay the same. It was safe and comfortable. My initial reaction was always to resist change. The space that I am held in now allows me to welcome transition and all the uncertainties that come with it.
There is a lot that will be transitioning for me in the next coming months as I complete school, change my living situation, and even relocate to a different part of the country (again). Despite all the uncertainties that loom ahead, I feel quite still. Nevertheless, the ego will always try to create a path of it’s own. At first, I felt a sense of wanting to be in control of tedious tasks throughout the day only to follow with knowing how silly that is. For some reason my ego thought if I tried controlling the present moment then I could control the rest of my life. The ego let go of this concept once I remembered that trying to hold onto control is like trying to smooth rippled water (as Alan Watts states). Soon after, I began to feel a fear of lack of financial security and what was to lie ahead of me. All throughout this process loomed a subtle sense of anxiety that slowly began to grow. How funny it is that one can have such an intense sense of peacefulness and completion only to be turned into negative thoughts brought on by the ego and often exacerbated by others. Yet, I know all the while that my Inner Knowing dominates as long as I trust it.
I just experienced my first session of Guided Imagery and Music (GIM) through a very gifted friend/teacher to help me stay centered on my journey. I feel that this will be another significant aspect of my spiritual practice along with meditation, journaling, etc. during this transition. It was a profound experience that helped me to explore clarity and unity within my heart. One of the many images that spontaneously came to me included seeing myself on top of a mountain. As I stood on top of the mountain, I could see many other majestic mountains before me. I felt lost, yet safe. I felt a sense of peace. Of course the ego was trying to make sense of such an oxymoron.
Later on in the session I had an intense connection with Spirit. It was a similar feeling to my first connection with God as a child. Suddenly, without hesitation, something within said, “Everything is going to be okay.” I stayed with the serenity I was experiencing. A soft, “thank you,” came from my lips. After some time, most of the fear, anxiety, and tension that was slowly building up and preventing me from staying present lifted from my body. The responsibility I have to nurture this alignment in my life will take practice.
In the end all the cloudiness will be defined clearly. All the uncertainty will become certain. All the Trust will be there. No matter what I do will be the right decision because it is my own and no others’. Sometimes the actions we must take will be the most difficult for the mind to conceptualize as logical. These are the images that transition the impossible to possible.
Susan started to cultivate a deeper relationship with the Creator four years ago when she was introduced to the works of Eckhart Tolle's, "The Power of Now" by Jim Tolles. Her life has been transformed in countless ways since then.