Monday, June 27, 2011
Spiritual Awakening and Instant Connections
Your Natural Connectivity Emerges
When you wake up, all your barriers get blown out. I talked about some of the difficulties people have with this, so it's definitely time to talk about the beauty of it. Without so much crap in the way, you can connect very easily and naturally with others. For those of you who always could do this, you can go even more deeply, more quickly. Ultimately, we are interconnected, and connection can happen instantaneously. This is normal, even though initially it feels unusual because we've so rarely been able to do it because of all of our barriers and judgments and criteria around connection. This connection is love. That's just what it is, but for those of you who haven't explored love enough yet, this doesn't necessarily mean it has anything to do with romance. It could if that's where you and the other person want to go, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Love plays on a lot of levels...well, it plays on all levels. So part of the exploration that comes with this instant connective ability is the discovery of where that connection naturally wants to go.
Relationship Intelligence Takes the Wheel
Most people have no idea what their relationship intelligence is. They're often driving towards a specific relationship that they want. This can be in romantic or even in the business world. You want a job so badly that you don't pay attention to the fact that you don't like your potential co-workers in the interview process. Your own relationship intelligence says that these people are not a good connection for you. Low and behold, you end up in jobs that you hate and end up incessantly job-hunting, looking for the "perfect" job that keeps evading you. Of course, there are a lot of other elements here, and I'm grossly over-simplifying. But you get the picture.
Instead of forcing relationships into being something specific, a deeper intelligence comes forward to guide it. This still requires your own mental intention to see and feel what's right for you. Then you have to communicate it to the person or people you feel this amazing connection with. So, it's not such a raw thing that you just completely check-out from your head and flow with (although it can be--usually, you have to do the thing you're least good at on the spiritual path. If you good at flowing, you'll have to communicate more and create boundaries. If you're good at the latter, then you'll have to do the former). From there, it's a practice of continued vulnerability and seeing what happens.
Evolving Connections During Spiritual Awakening
During the initial blast of awakening, everything goes in motion. In truth, it always was in motion, but now, you're not digging your nails into the ground and holding on for dear life--although a part of you may still want to. :) With that said, the amazing connections that you make with others are being founded off of the amazing new connection that you have with you. That internal connection will shift as you shift. A lot of us talk about how it feels like we have to re-make a brand new agreement with ourselves every day.
"Hey, Jim," I'm looking in the mirror.
"What's up?" My mirror image says.
"So, who the Hell am I today?"
It's an important conversation to have. Once I know that, it's easier to figure out how to be in the world and which connections will be right for me. Because as I evolve, those relationships evolve. And many of my connections are very committed to their spiritual paths, and so they're evolving too. The initial point of connection is gone almost as fast as it's happened, and so it becomes an evolving relationship that expands, contracts, completes, and comes back around occasionally.
Letting Go of Connections on the Spiritual Path
All of this becomes a profound, continued practice in letting go. That amazing connection you had with someone was a one-time thing. It was beautiful and amazing, and that moment is gone. Those two people are gone. This is a big adjustment, and for those in committed relationships (like marriage), it presents a lot of challenges. There's no doubt about it. Some of the people I talk to about what the "new relationship(s)" are going to be point out a lot of difficulties around the current accepted ideas of monogamy and marriage, and I certainly don't have any solutions on that score right now. Although, the phrase "do the best you can" comes to mind.
Because one of the greatest lessons we all learn (and this is very Buddhist) is that everything is change. Awakening is becoming the change. Gandhi's "Be the change you want to see in this world" is very profound because it points to this truth. So you're going to keep changing and so are your connections. And the very fluidity of it will continue to guide in amazing new and re-newed connections into your life, and the different levels and flavors of the experience will shift and show you all kinds of amazing things. I've had a lot of really profound connections with people, and I honestly can say that none of them are quite the same as each other.
Managing Your Awakening and Coming to Peace with Out-Dated Relationships
For those awakening, you're simultaneously hit with a grieving process for relationships that do not serve you as well as these new deeper connections. Holding on to the old, unhealthy relationships does nothing for either of you. It simply propagates an old way of being that does not serve you or them. So, you probably feel pulled in two directions. Suddenly there are these men and women who totally get you, yet your old relationships still want you to live in the box, be "practical," yada yada yada. It's nonsense. They're scared, and they're stuck in the world of control, which is illusionary anyway. You're coming out of that world, and it's intense and scary for the parts of you that can't let go of it. Plus, some of these instant connections come like bullets straight through your heart, and then they're gone the next day. Being able to emotionally manage this for yourself is a big deal.
Here Comes the Journal Suggestion Again: Will He Suggest a New Tool Some Day?
I'll suggest a different tool some day when I stop hearing tons of people tell me how helpful it is. Emotional clean out is important for your awakening. It helps you to stay clear and begin to mentally understand what's going on with the connections you're drawing in. You'll be able to clear out a lot of old pain and issues, so a lot of people who come during your early phases of awakening are to help you transition (sometimes in painful ways because that can be necessary). They won't last long. Others will show up for the long-haul. They may not play a huge role initially or maybe they will. But they'll start to put down some roots with you because you can now connect in a way that nourishes both of you and aligns with your soul paths.
And keep in mind, working with the different relationships coming through your life is a profound spiritual practice of its own. You'll have more karma and crap come up for you that you can face, heal, and release with other awakened people, and even if they aren't awake, you'll still have plenty coming up for you with all that awakening energy moving through you. The big thing is not to hold on. But totally enjoy these connections. No one can ever predict how long this stuff will last--although maybe you'll have an intuition from time to time. I know with my best friend that I could see how bright his energy was when I met him several years before we became best friends. So you perhaps know what this sudden bright spark in your life may evolve into being in your life after all.