Monday, December 5, 2011

The Coming of the Divine Mothers and Divine Fathers

Spiritual parenting is a topic that I know is on many of your minds. How could it not be for many of the moms and dads who have strong spiritual practices or who have had an awakening? You want to bring this gift to your kids, and if nothing else, you want to help them be freed of karmas and past mistakes that you've spent so much time clearing out of your own systems. So the question becomes, "How do I help my children the most?" And of course the clearest answer is to start with you.

The Road Gone Before and the Road Ahead
So much of our families' histories is to travel the same road again and again. The road behind us and the road in front of us are not actually roads; they're loops. We travel around the same tracks, and regardless of the amount of "success" we have in the external world, we play out the same types of issues with intimacy, scarcity, abuse, and general habits. Some families resemble each other's energies so much that I can't really tell that there are different people there. That's not necessarily bad--it just depends on what your soul path is. But for most people, that similarity isn't a choice. It's a default setting. How do you know what other choices you can make until you do something other than your default setting? How do you know you really love being a plumber when that's all you and your family have ever done? Similarly, how do you know if you were raised well or not until you look at other examples of how families work.

The Exploration of Family Dynamics
There's nothing like having a child on the way to get you looking at family dynamics in a new way. Children are often all of our biggest wake-up calls, and for women, I can think of few other physical rites of passages that can possibly equate to the process of child birth. Child birth is a dramatic statement to every level of a woman that things are now different; you are now a mom. Men don't have an equal physical process for a life shift quite like that, which is why so many rites of passage for men in the past were so physically arduous. Men have needed something profoundly physical to let their bodies know that they are no longer boys, and without those rites, many males simply live out their lives as boys--acting out childish fantasies like making lots of money, having lots of sex, etc. While a rite of passage doesn't change all of that, it does give men a firm place to start out and realize themselves in a different way.

Subsequently, it's been easier for fathers in the past to not feel connected to the whole process of pregnancy. They've been so disconnected from themselves that they can't possibly feel the connection with their partner of a growing fetus. So, it's been easy for them to walk away or consider the whole situation a burden. Obviously, there are also many deeply involved dads, but the new level that's coming to men is the gift of feeling that creative connection beyond the initial conception. This is a process--an ultimately it's always been like this, but more consciousness is going to be coming to it--that has always involved both partners through conception, birth, childhood, and well, most of the rest of our lives. Why do you think as adults on the spiritual path that we spend so much time dealing with both issues of our parents? Those lines of energetic connection are still there, and so we all have to learn how to heal them as appropriately and as best we can so that we can fully come into our own energy.

Old Lines of Familial Energetic Connections
I've spent a lot of time talking in blogs far past about issues from my family around scarcity. Scarcity is the idea that there isn't enough. It leads to miserliness and a whole lot of fear. It breaks the cycle of giving and receiving that is so important to keep us all nourished. Much of my work has been to clear out that fear, and subsequently, children that I have in the future will have much less influence from those old fears. My parents and grandparents have also done bits and pieces of work around other issues so that they wouldn't come to me, and that's part of what we're talking about today. Doing your work to clear away old abuse issues, fears, anger, and other things is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children. Children are such little sponges and are so connected to you. When they are developing inside of a woman and through a lot of their early years, they soak up everything. EVERYTHING. You know this already if you are a parent. And the deepest connections will always go first and be there the longest. The energy and the stories that come through your being and presence will be the most profound, which is why doing your work to know yourself and all the family issues are so important. The more you work to break those unhealthy connections and those patterns of fear, the more freedom you offer to your child.

For instance, let's say that your family has a history of believing that you're intellectually smart. You consider yourself to be stupid. Then education becomes part of how you break that cycle. It's a profound thing in Western Culture because education offers so much social mobility. You undoubtedly will have to face a lot of self-esteem issues around not being smart enough, and maybe you'll even want to quit school. This is doing your spiritual work in the real world, and it offers your children so much future freedom (and I'm not talking in your ability to make more money). You'll carry with you a sense of accomplishment and a new belief in your intelligence that no one else in your family has ever had. That's part of breaking the cycle and creating freedom for your children.

Being a Spiritual Parent Starts With Being a Spiritual Person
We all know the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality is a load of crap, so don't try it. As I just illustrated above, you need to do you work. Face your fears. Heal your wounds. That's step one to being a great spiritual parent. It will help you to get in touch with your inner knowing, which will be invaluable as you make difficult decisions at times for your children. Being clear about what feels true helps from everything such as when it's time to put your child down for a nap and to what school to send your children. Intuition has a lot of purposes. As always, it should be balanced by logic and gathering facts. Together, that's a very powerful decision making tool, and it's a very powerful tool for your children to learn and see in you.

Spiritual Guidance for Your Tots
Some women have been woken up spirituality from the process of childbirth, and some men have been awoken in preparation for being dads. You're both more likely in the category of offering spiritual guidance and teaching to your children. You have to know by now that a new wave of very aware children are entering and about to enter the world during this time of possibility and shift. While I don't care to make up another annoying spiritual label like Indigo children (labels get in the way of fully seeing and appreciating individuals), there's going to be another generation like that. Many of you are being awoken to be the divine mothers and divine fathers to shepherd them into this world. Many of these children will be very delicate and won't like the crudeness of the world, so it'll be up to you how you help them to assimilate. Assimilation is key because you can't hide them away from the world. Most of them are needed to be very active in the world vibration, which is not a comfortable one by any means. So your challenge will be to help get them the spiritual tools along the way for them to stay energized and healthy while shielding them at times from the difficulties that they aren't ready for yet.

Still others of you may have been gifted with a very aware child, but you don't feel like you have the tools to do a lot of this. Perhaps, you'll need to find a spiritual teacher to help your children from time to time. Meanwhile, you still will need to do your own work, and you'll need to own that this is a social/spiritual contract with this child that you've chosen. It should never be looked upon as a burden, but that won't mean that it won't challenge you. Any parent reading this today knows that raising a child is always a challenge. They'll hit your hot buttons on every level, which is why especially with very aware children, they may become your greatest spiritual teacher ever.

Letting Go of Right and Wrong in Spiritual Parenting
After you eliminate the big issues like physical abuse and verbal abuse, you'll simply have to trust yourself as a parent. I think this is true for all parents, but especially with those of you bringing spirituality into the new family you're creating, it may seem very unknown and uncertain. Trust yourself. Do your own work to stay clear about yourself and what feels right, but then you have to have faith. A lot of faith and a lot of love are so important in many aspects of life, but especially with raising children. They'll be all right, and you're already doing a beautiful job if you care enough to try and bring spirituality into your role as a parent.
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