Sunday, February 12, 2012

Absorbing People's Emotions and Issues

This topic is an important one for those of you in awakening, and it's also an important one for those psychics who are reading this and don't really understand their psychic awareness. I often notice that more than a few people think that they're in awakening, when really they're just sensitive psychics. Their energy boundaries are generally open, which is how they so naturally get so much information intuitively and also why it's easy for them to get wrapped up in other people's issues. For those who are awakening with or without natural psychic awareness, awakening blows out your natural shields--it's one of the things that the ego helped build regardless of how healthy those boundaries were. It's all getting blown out because you are becoming more interconnected to everything. However, during this transitional time period, it's tough to manage those boundaries and figure out what's right for you. That's why so many of us go off to our sanctuaries for a time to be with our shift. It's in part so that we don't get caught up absorbing and figuring out other people's issues because we're so wide open. So in this vein of thought, let's talk about how to identify when you're absorbing other people's issues.

A Distinguishing Feature Between Psychic Awareness and Awakening
Now, I want to be clear that everyone has psychic awareness. It's like a muscle. Some people are more naturally gifted than others. Some people have worked it out more, so they're stronger with it than others. But we all have it. Our inner knowing is a feature of psychic awareness, and you are welcome to check out some of my other blogs about psychic awareness to get a better sense of how I'm using this term (it's not just a stare into a crystal ball and tell fortunes thing).

With that said, someone who has a lot of psychic ability and is very sensitive to energy will often easily pick up issues and emotions when they're around other people. They can get very scared of being in large groups because the information that they're getting is so overwhelming. It's like being in the middle of a rock concert. This can make them naturally reclusive, or they can get chronically ill or even lose their minds. It's kind of a nasty thing to not really understand that all your doors are open so naturally.

In awakening, emotions and issues will surface at all times and in all situations. While the sensitive psychic can remove him or herself from people to get out of that situation, you can't. Your psychic awareness will be awakening to greater or lesser degrees as well. As I said, everyone gets this gift to differing levels. But no matter what you do, you're not going to be able to get away from the emotions being brought to your awareness by awakening, and subsequently, being around a lot of people with lots of big issues will become exceedingly toxic. Because now you're processing your issues and their issues at the same time. It's why you may suddenly find yourself seeking solitude in natural environments more and more.

When You Can't Get Away
But I know a number of you may have to deal with groups of people while going through this shift, so I'll do my best to offer some tips to get through without falling down the bottomless pit of other people's uncleared issues. Let me be clear: you can't heal others for them. That's their job, and your suffering serves no one. Suffering simply creates more suffering, and awakening is about the ending of suffering. You may find that you have to change your situation dramatically in some instances, and you may also have to set firm boundaries with people that perhaps you don't fully explain to them. I'm not telling you to cut people off without explanation, but only you can know what the right level of boundary will be for your energy.

Tip #1 Asking if an Issue Is Yours. There's no time like the present to get in more touch with your inner knowing than now. Actually, this may be easier than you think because your awakening is opening up so much of your awareness. So ask yourself: "Is this issue or these emotions mine?" See what answer you get.

Tip #2 Pay Attention to Who You Are With. One of the other things I do is to pay attention to who I am with when emotions come up. If I'm around my friends who all have strong energy and I keep having the same issue come up, it's probably mine. I say that because strong energy connects to us and pushes up anything that's in the way so we can see it and so we can connect even more deeply with another. If a specific issue or feeling only shows up with a particular person, then it more often than not is something that I'm absorbing from the other person and which has little to do with me.

Tip #3 Sending It Back. People are constantly trying to get away from pain or send issues elsewhere. You aren't meant to be a spiritual punching bag, so ask God, your inner knowing, your spirit guides, or some such well-meaning being to send it back. Send it back with love and understand that the other person needs their pain to fully face their issues. They created it, and so they have to own it.

Tip #4 Grounding the Pain. Sometimes, I may also ground the issue. Especially when I'm working as a teacher, I'll feel stuff coming my way, and I send it down into the ground to dissipate it. This is just an energy visualization where I imagine the issue hitting the front of my energy and flowing down into the earth as if my energy had a windshield and rain had just hit it.

Tip #5 Visualize Energy Shielding. Lastly, I'll mention shielding. Because the awakening is helping you to have no defense and to become interconnected with all things, I mention shielding last. Shielding still perpetuates the illusion of duality, but I understand that life on this planet is tricky. And sometimes visualizing an energy shield all around you that cuts and deflects any harmful connections coming your way can be really helpful.

When You Process Another Person's Issues, You Drain Yourself
Your energy is a precious commodity. It's limitless on the one hand, and yet we live in a body that naturally has limitations on this planet. It's a strange place that you may be in to know that you are truly limitless, and yet this body takes so much work to maintain and to evolve through this process. Sometimes the physical pain of an awakening shift is tremendous, and this is why you can't get yourself locked up in other people's issues. It's far too draining. This is one of those times when you need every drop of energy for yourself to allow this beautiful, sacred shift to transform you. Later, you'll be fully charged and interconnected, and you'll be amazed at how much you'll be able to offer as well as receive from the world. But that is not this moment, and you have to learn to how to fully be yourself and fully meet your needs in this moment.

As I said before, you're doing no one any good by dealing with other people's pain, and people really are good at sending their issues out to others with projections and nasty words. Try using the above tips to help find a stabilizing point when you have to be around lots of people.

Continuing to Get to Know Your Own Energy
In truth, at each major internal cycle of your overall awakening (I've noticed that I have lots of shifts within it as I'm able to integrate more of my natural energy), you're going to have to re-sense your energy. This may even be more than a little frustrating because you'll feel like you've done this already. But each blast of energy blows open the doors and windows again, and the natural space that you're now holding is different. I don't want to say more intense or less, bigger or smaller. It's just different. It's helping you come to the natural energy space that you're here to hold on this planet. Everyone is different, but it is all beautiful. Consider this metaphor:

A river comes down from the snow melt from the mountains. At some point the water forks, and on one side of the mountain, a vast lake is formed. On the other, a very small pond with amazing depth is created. Both are equally beautiful. Both hold that source energy, but they are expressing it differently. One wants to reach out to as many miles of land as possible. The other chooses to touch a few parcels, but with incredible depth. So with each shift, you're becoming the lake or the field of energy that you're supposed to be. And with each shift within your awakening, you'll have to get to know yourself again.

Letting Go of the Blame Game
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is my warning to not get caught up blaming your significant other for not being significantly transcendent to be with you. In truth, this is a new process for all of us to even discuss. I mean seriously you probably would not have even been able to read a blog like this 10 years ago. So we're all learning how to discuss this and be with this even though this is an ancient process, and plenty of other people have gone through it even if they didn't really know that they were going through it. Now, we're trying to get a critical mass happening on the planet, and blogs like this are aimed at catalyzing people towards that space of loving kindness.

But we can't do that blaming other people for not being able to hold the space we want or for carrying around all the issues that they have. This will be a challenge for any relationship, make no mistake about it. Which is why communication becomes even more important to keeping the relationship healthy. You will need a lot of alone time, and for partners not able to travel with you through this time period, it will also require a lot of letting go. There are no easy answers, and life on this planet has its challenges. But in truth, nothing is lost, so don't be upset if your partner cannot come with you. It's not their fault. It's not yours. It is simply a big time of transition, and we must all follow the paths of our hearts.

The Regular Spiritual Practice of Clearing
One of the things that I do with my spiritual practices is to clear out my energy in some of my meditations. It's kind of like an energy shower in the morning. It helps me shake out the stuff that isn't mine and to keep my inner compass pointing in a clear direction. It's never perfect, and we're not aiming to be perfectly pure. We're simply aiming to take care of ourselves on the energy level, which is super important especially during awakening. It's also an important tool for sensitive psychics as they come into better understanding of their gifts. So with that all said, do your best to pay attention to the origins of emotions and pain. Find out if it's really some of yours to be processed and let go or if it is just some external debris floating by in the air that has nothing at all to do with you.

If you're interested in scheduling a session to get ideas about how to set up a spiritual practice to find comfort with your highly sensitive nature, please check out my FAQ first:

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