Keep letting go.
The First Great Revelation
The first great revelation someone gets may feel amazing. It may also be incredibly disappointing or dismaying. Because oftentimes, this revelation--which is what so many people are seeking so ardently--simply shows you how messed up your life is. This realization may be that "I am the cause of all my problems" or that "My life isn't okay. It's a huge mess." Depending on the individual, this can start a turn towards the spiritual path. It may also start the full awakening if it is profound enough. There's no way to know, but you aren't the same after it has come.
The Turn Towards the Spiritual Path
For others, the turn towards the spiritual path is a slight turn, and the realization (which to me is kind of a smaller magnitude revelation) is a slight course correction. It may happen when a friend mentions something that just clicks for you. You may call this an epiphany. It's all kind of the same meaning. But it's also really hard to ignore. Revelations and realizations still can be ignored before an awakening. The ego has gotten good at this, as it thinks that holding onto familiarity is the safer road (which ultimately for most people is the path of pain). But after an awakening strikes, the revelations and realizations locked behind the walls of fear, doubt, despair, shame, and anger come tumbling out, and you will need to make space to understand them on every level.
The Healing and Awakening Cycles
I often have to define the difference between healing and awakening, although the lines get really, really blurred. Many of you are in purification, preparation, or healing cycles, and because of how confused people have become about "spiritual awakening signs" or "spiritual awakening symptoms," you may think you are having an awakening. The key thing is "think." When it happens, there's no doubt. But this doesn't invalidate the other processes. They're all important. For me, I definitely had a purification and preparation process that helped heal old painful patterns before awakening came and found me. And for those healing, it can be amazing to feel how it is to be healthy. Consider if you have a broken leg. Standing must feel awesome. This can be confused as awakening, but really, awakening is like being able to run.
Within awakening, especially for those who are unprepared, healing and awakening may happen simultaneously. The revelations and realizations that are flooding through your mind are helping you to understand yourself and how to heal and awaken further. They are things like:
- Seeing where your pattern of self-abuse started and how it's influenced every relationship in your life
- Learning why your family has been miserly and hard-hearted for generations
- Discovering some old past-life (I think of these as concurrent lives, but that's a topic for another time) has been influencing your choices in this life in an unhealthy way
- Understanding how you've hurt so many others and feeling that in your own heart and body
- And sooooo much more
Resisting the Truth
For those not in this profound space, you can still resist the truth. You can bury yourself in your work, substances (including food, which often leads to binge eating), sex & relationships, exercise, adventures, and all kinds of other things. For those in awakening, you can't. Sure you can do the same unhealthy things, but you are going to feel new levels of misery, depression, and despair. You can't imagine how bad this may feel unless you've been in this space.
Why is this?
Because the deeper you is awake and moving. You are fully resisting and avoiding all of you. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to avoid and resist the fullness of you. It takes a ton of energy simply to let go of old resistance at times. I can't imagine doing the other. Which is why I always encourage people to simply let go of their ideas about how their life should look when this comes. It is being transformed in a way that none of us can exactly see, and you're going to need a lot of faith and discipline along the way without trying to resist it.
Spiritual Knowledge and Wisdom Descends
These revelations and realizations are often about you, but some of you may be gifted with a bigger picture. This is different for everyone. We are all here to be what we are. If you are a redwood tree, you share yourself with the world differently than the peach tree. No one is greater or lesser than the others. We are all part of an interconnected and interdependent system. So if you are gifted with greater vision about the world and the relationships around you, be grateful. But know that this is no place to let any remnant of an old controlling ego remain. That's why some of you go through more rigorous spiritual scrub-downs. Sacred knowledge can be abused to some degree, although there are repercussions. So that's also why our souls have selected some of these particularly challenging spiritual processes. Our true selves understand that it is important to clear the fear and hate in us that would use these tools and understandings for anything less than the highest good.
And of course, some people go through intense spiritual awakening processes because they are in so much resistance still. I suppose it's the difference between having more to let go of than others, but you can't think of it that way. There are no hard generalizations around this. So all I can really say is that if you're feeling really overwhelmed and in a difficult transition. Let go. And practice letting go of the part of you that is feeling overwhelmed and would prefer a different kind of process.
Breathing in the New-Old Knowledge
Ultimately, a lot of this self-knowledge is old news. You've always had it. And sometimes there's a grieving period that comes with that because you realize how much you've cut yourself off from your own sacred wisdom and how ought of integrity you have been with yourself and others. It is sad that we've done this, but this too is part of the greater unfolding of the universe. This is the sacred discovery process, which could only happen if we'd forgotten it.
So now you are finding all the wisdom that you have. It's not mine. It's not anyone else's. It's yours and is seen through your distinctive lens on the world. Enjoy it, but more importantly incorporate it into your life. That's how we change the world. We bring this wisdom into the world with kind words and actions. We bring this spiritual knowledge into the world by the clarity and presence of our being. It becomes effortless because we are simply being who we are.
Be who you are. Relax into this space. Find the supports you need to own the realizations and spiritual revelations pouring through you, and come into the inheritance of the wealth of your wisdom.
Today's picture comes from my student, Jenn.