What Is Not Awakening Fatigue
But before we go too far along, let's set some ground rules. If you are really super tired a lot of the time, you should definitely consult a doctor--ideally both one coming from the Western Tradition and one from the Eastern Traditions (Ayurveda, etc.). The reasoning is that there are lots of strange illnesses out there, and I strongly encourage you to use all available tools before jumping to a conclusion that you must be having a spiritual awakening if you're so tired.
Furthermore, let me illustrate a few scenarios about what is also not about awakening fatigue:
- You do 19,000 different things during the day and get only 4 or 5 hours of sleep at night.
- You're very psychic and have gotten entangled in hexes or trying to save other people energetically.
- You don't sleep/you're an insomniac (While those of us who get waves of energy may have nights where we can't sleep, being an insomniac is something else).
What Awakening Fatigue Is
Okay, so I think we've covered some important basics, i.e. see a doctor, don't do 9 million things in a day, etc. Now, for those of you in awakening, you'll go to a doctor, and they'll find nothing wrong with you. If you are also doing 9 million things a day, then that has to go to. But you'll find as you do less, that you are still really, really tired. It's like eating, meditating, and maybe...MAYBE an afternoon walk is all the energy that you have. You are also moving through moments of profound silence, stillness, and love. Within your heart, you know you're awakening and that that's what this fatigue is part of. When all of this is coming together, you can be pretty sure that the fatigue you're feeling is from awakening.
Part of what happens is that we're being transformed on every level of ourselves. Some parts of us transform very easily. Some do not. We just have more resistance or density in certain areas. (I'm going to start using the term "density" more often. It links into the idea of raising your frequency nicely). But just because there is density there doesn't mean that there's anything bad in you. It's just dense...like a rock. How much energy do you need to turn a rock into vapor? Come on physicists out there. I'm sure you've got an equation for this. But you get the point. You need a lot. For those of you going from water into water vapor, you still need a lot of energy to make that transformation, and with most or all of your energy tied up in that transformation, you don't have much energy for the world.
Letting Go of Resistance
The biggest thing that most all of us have to do is to practice letting go of resistance. Whether it's the mind not believing that it can get through this transformation or the wounded heart believing it's not worthy of all this divine love, resistance will slow down the transformation. Consider that we're like caterpillars going into our chrysalises. We need a lot of time in there to become butterflies, but we can't fully give ourselves to that transformation if we're already trying to fly before we have wings or if we're still trying to crawl all over the place. I know that you think that you don't have time, but if you don't make time, you're going to crash. And it won't be pretty.
Because inside, your soul--the real you--has already chosen this path. And you need to come into acceptance of it. If you don't, then you're still resisting the change. It's time to let go of that resistance. It's absolutely exhausting. It'll take away every last bit of energy you have until you can't get off the floor and people are deciding to put you in a mental facility or get you "serious" help. Well, serious help is already here; it's you. It's you and God, which are becoming one and the same. Because we are all God. We are all both the parts and the whole of God. This is what happens when we lose duality and blend into the Divine oneness. So just let go. If you are tired, then rest. It's okay. Really.
Meditation and Energy Support
You know, I think it's been in the last 2 months that I feel like I've been sleeping again. For about 3 to 4 years, it's felt like my subconscious has been on overdrive to integrate all this energy that has poured into me--to integrate all of me coming into me. It's amazing how much bigger we are than what we perceive. It's intense. Manly of you are going through this intensity and know what I mean. The biggest things that I've found to help me through the fatigue have been meditation and other energetically supportive tools.
After a night of sleeping but not sleeping, I have pretty religiously gone out to sit and meditate in the morning. Sometimes I do energy visualizations to replenish my system, and by the end of meditation, I feel like I have some energy to do things. Having friends, a spiritual community, or a spiritual teacher to support us is also important at different times. Some people who are close to nature will go for short walks. And if you get a lot of energy from nature, perhaps you stay out there longer. That hasn't been my way, but I know that it works for others as does the sun. I swear some of you practically are flowers and able to do photosynthesis. I know of at least one friend who immediately perks up when she goes out in the sun.
So you get the idea. The fatigue is coming from lack of energy or rather, lack of energy for doing anything but transforming. You actually have tons of energy, but it's otherwise pre-occupied. Kinda like having 20 GB or RAM, but it's all being used right now. Your computer can't do anything else until the first set of operations are done. But just because you do get a little energy from time to time to do more things doesn't mean that you should do lots of things during this time period. Do what you have to, and then trust that the rest will attend to itself.
Helping Others to Understand Your Needs
One of the biggest things people have trouble with is explaining to others their needs during these shifts. I encourage a lot of people to have journals preciously so they can understand what's going on. Until you can understand what's going on in your own words, you won't be able to explain it to anyone else. Of course, this is part of why I write this blog: I'm helping you find your own words and to realize that nothing is wrong. You're doing just fine. Just relax into this shift. Make space for it, and let go.
I know some of you are married or in committed relationships, and this causes a lot of strain on the other person many times. There's no easy way around it, but as I said, you're going to need to find your words to help your partner understand what's going on. If the other person really loves you, s/he will work with you. If not, your awakening has simply shown the rotting foundation that you've been trying to build a relationship on. Best to go find a better structure to build a new one on, but first, you've got to finish re-building this relationship that you're re-creating with yourself.
Sleeping 14 Hours A Day
I don't get too many of these days, but every now and then, I have simply been passed out on the couch for long periods of time. It's just what happens. My energy for exercise goes away. My appetite gets all weird, and in general, I have learned that I have to resign myself to just lying on my yoga mat and staring at the ceiling. I'm probably being too melodramatic. In one of my last big shifts, I really opened to it and accepted just how little energy I'd have for anything else. Since then, all kinds of things have shifted including my ability to sleep restfully at night, which I'm forever grateful to have back. So what I'll remind you repeatedly in these blogs is this: your awakening shift is temporary. If you check in with your inner knowing, you'll find this answer there too. In general, whenever you have questions about what's going on in your body, you always want to check in with your inner knowing. And if this isn't a practice that you've done much with yet, I encourage you to start. Check out the stuff about intuition under the Starting Out section to begin.
Last Thoughts on Awakening Fatigue
None of this is about suffering or punishing you. Nothing is going wrong. You are simply transforming. And as I mentioned about transforming the rock into a gas or vapor, it can take a lot of energy to do so. All the tools that I've mentioned in this blog really serve to help you make this process easier--to break apart the rocks that you can break apart and to let go of the things that do not serve you. In so doing, you can alleviate any mental suffering that may want to come along as you go through this sacred process. And you can be sure that when it is concluded, you will have all the energy available to you to do whatever it is you are here to do.