Monday, July 29, 2013

Sharing Your Joy Properly

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The title of this spiritual post may seem a little odd to you. I mean, "How does one not share joy properly?" Well, for most people, it has to do with trying to force their way of enjoying life on others. It's like the overly aggressive people who think that if everyone isn't drinking alcohol, then they're not having as good of a time as they are. There are more benign ways this shows up too, but you get the point.

However, 90% of people need to practice sharing joy. Consequently, this blog post isn't for you today. Most people simply need to go out and offer their joy (a way of helping, a beautiful poem, etc.) and see who takes it up. It will teach you much.

Today's blog is really intended for those of you in the deep shifts of awakening. What tends to happen is many of you wake up, and you can see the joy in everything. People at this phase often want to share their joy with everyone, and some even have the idea that they should wake everyone up. Ah, but there's a time for everything, and this blog post will talk about why this is one of the extremely, extremely few times when it is not appropriate to share your joy.

Going Within and Building Up Intensity

I often use the metaphor of the caterpillar going into the chrysalis for this time period for most people. The caterpillar needs all of its energy going within so that it can metamorphosize into a butterfly. I can only imagine what it's like to be that little caterpillar, but could you imagine what might happen if it prematurely ran out of the chrysalis trying to teach others to fly when it only had half a wing formed? Oh, it'd be quite a sorry sight indeed. As such, the caterpillar is patient. The caterpillar stays in the nourishing safe internal place and allows the process to unfold.

This is one of the key points of awakening: you allow this inner intelligence to unfold. While there are moments of dynamism where we learn our lessons and occasionally find external help (healers, guides, teachers, counselors, and so forth), much of the rest of the spiritual shift tend to be about rest and allowing. I can't generalize too broadly because all of you beautiful people are so different, but most people in awakening have to go within to fully intensify the energy and burn out all kinds of impurities--fear, anger, attachment, sadness, etc. Only through this intense purging does much of the depth of you become possible. Otherwise, people tend to get stuck somewhere and build a new ego identity wrapped in spiritual gift-wrap to present to the world without truly working through their core issues.

The Joyless Joy of Unwrapping Core Issues

I will not say that unwrapping a core issue is a fun thing, yet there is a joy in the sense of dealing with old issues finally and the growing sense of freedom that results. Each time we release old issues, there is more space within us that is revealed. It was always there, but it was hidden by these core issues. Until we allow this unwrapping to unfold in us, we do fully not understand ourselves. We will live and act from faulty ideas about how and what we should be. Many awakenings really never make it below the chest. It's like a lot of people out there are just treading water. People say, "Oh, I conceptually know all this, and I've felt a few things. That's good enough for me." And if this is what feels true to you, then it is good enough. But I do not write this blog to help you barter with the ego. I am showing you the way to walking on water (metaphorically speaking). I am helping you find your way to that space of limitlessness where you can live anyway you truly want. In living anyway that feels true to you, it becomes only natural to share your joy properly without any need or desire for reciprocation, which is the truest way we can ever spread and share joy.

The Intensity of Focused Joy and Love

We have to learn to love ourselves in a brand new way. We have to learn to love the intensity and discomfort we feel within. We have to go within it and bask in this discomfort. It's not something any of us were really taught, and it has to come without the idea of gaining anything or changing anything. Change arises most often when we are not trying to change and when we are being ourselves. I can't tell you how many times I've been working with a student, and at some point as we're sitting together with a student's uncomfortable issue, it just leaves. That is the power of intense joy and love. Things move. Did we really do something? Not usually. We just observed it and acknowledged it. In many respects, core issues are like little children starved for attention. Some will really be okay and resolve very quickly once we start to pay attention to them.

Pay Attention to How You've Given Yourself Away

However, these caveats may not be enough to convince some of you to stop doing all kinds of things for other people. Giving yourself away tends to drain someone in awakening exceptionally quickly. Those of you who are naturally energetically open and sensitive will have much the same problem. Part of it has to do with the world not flowing naturally in reciprocal relationships as it should. People are hoarding and taking from others. It's an issue that must be met, but oftentimes the over-zealous giver is trying to get approval and attention. So it's not a clean way to share joy anyway.

If this is an issue for you, then I encourage you to start to pay attention to how you give yourself away, try to fix other people's issues, or try to get everyone to just "have a good time." These are just a few of the many different ways people give themselves and their energy away and can get really drained. Draining jobs are often the worst of the lot, but I also say this cautiously because too many people want to label work and jobs as evil. They're not; they're just a different type of life lessons for all of us to learn from.

Going Within and Sitting in the Fire

As you sit in the fire of your awakened self, you may find that your desire to share this space with others diminishes. This is a wonderful sign. Desire is always based in getting external approval or fulfillment. It is ultimately not aligned with the depth of you. The truest way of sharing your joy is just being you. To the old ego, this makes no sense, and many of my students are suddenly shocked by how much other people like being around them or appreciate their words when they are just being themselves. My students will say, "I wasn't really doing anything." Exactly. You are just being you. The fire of the awakened self has been burning away all the false identities so that you just shine as you are. How could you not naturally share joy from that space?

The Power of Being You

So the great lesson in all of this for those of you awakening and have the burning desire to help, nurture, or save the world is to go within. The greatest power you need to help, nurture, and shift awareness is in your own being.

Be you. 

That is enough. 

That is the great lesson. 

It is so delightfully simple, and yet we make it maddeningly complex. Let go of the complexity. Let go of the difficulty. You may not always enjoy feeling all the internal discomfort that you've created and absorbed in your life, but in releasing it, you can become a greater agent of joy, love, and change than you can possibly imagine.
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