Monday, July 27, 2015

Facing the Abyss of Self-Hatred

cactus, spiritual awakening, spiritual pain, painful issues, self-hatred
Self-hatred is one of the defining issues of our times. It is all over the place in Western society. It is speaks in millions of voices and is seen in thousands of different ways. It all speaks in the discordant, grating chorus that says, " You are not okay as you are." Or perhaps more truthfully, each individual is saying, "I am not okay as I am."

From that core rejection, hatred of others, fear, and depression drive individuals to great lengths to feel okay and to feel good. But people don't understand what is really driving them. They don't understand the thorn in their hearts that's causing them to bleed and to feel so much pain. Instead, people blame others. Yes, it's Congress's fault I'm unhappy. It's my boyfriend's fault I'm unhappy. It's my boss's fault that I'm unhappy.... And on and on and on.

But when we turn inwards, we finally can grapple with this issue. It can be a particularly dark one depending on the person. It is not a fun thing to feel all the feelings of self-rejection, isolation, anger, fear, sadness, and hatred itself. However, until you get to core of this issue where you started believing that you are not okay, then self-hatred will be one of the things the defines your entire life no matter what you do, how noble you are, how "spiritual" you are, how much you insulate yourself from upsetting people and situations, or whatever your means of avoidance, numbing, and self-soothing are.

The Initial Feeling and Core Belief

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Webinar Recording: Feeling Spiritually Lost and Finding Your Way

Many people feel spiritually lost at different times of their lives. In the context of a spiritual awakening, we often feel this way because a lot of our ego and the reference points we used to have dissolve. In this way, we stop having a clear direction about where to go.

A lot of what the ego does is to tell us what to do to stay "safe." It is often quite wrong, and as we become more conscious and focused on the present moment, it is quite normal to feel lost at first. This is part of the sacred adjustment time where you realize that "lost" is a concept. The part of you making the judgment that you are lost is part of the problem. From this vantage point, I don't try to help you find yourself. Instead, I simply point out that you have always been here and now. You could never be lost from the present moment.

On the other side of the coin are those people still very stuck in the ego. In this way, they are lost because they are not focusing on reality. When you don't see the truth of life and try to live out ego illusions, you are lost.

Feeling Spiritually Lost and Finding Your Way Webinar Recording

Date of Recording:

Wednesday, July 29, 2015


10:30 AM Pacific Time

Monday, July 20, 2015

The Peace of Natural Spiritual Growth

spiritual flow, spiritual growth, spiritual awakening, bodega bay, beach, waves, ocean, sky
It's my genuine belief that if people allow themselves to just be, then we would all naturally grow spiritually. It would simply be how we engage with ourselves and with life. We'd grow in the same way that our bodies grow. They naturally come into their appropriate shape, albeit some people have genetic diseases that are part of their physical expression.

However, we do not embrace spiritual growth. Instead, we learn to hold onto pain and conform to ideas of who and what we should be. This leads to tremendous amounts of pain, fear, anger, resentment, shame, and depression. People feel so much pain that they numb themselves, and then no one likes being numb. So we then over-stimulate ourselves with a variety of experiences and substances to feel again.

Numbing Yourself to Life and Over-stimulation

But all of that suffering can go away. When we are sincere on our spiritual paths, we can return to our natural spiritual growth.

Those of you who awaken feel like you're on an enforced march at gunpoint to this growth, but if you do not embrace this opportunity, you'll find a spiritual plateau. A spiritual plateau is simply a stable level of energy where you can hang out at. For those who do not have the intense opportunity of a spiritual awakening, you can come into your natural spiritual growth rhythms just the same--perhaps easier in some ways since you are more actively choosing it. In this space, we grow and shift and change naturally. We engage with the shifts, but we do not have to force anything. In this way, we are at peace with our spiritual growth even though there may be uncomfortable and upsetting moments.

I know this sounds a little far off for some of you, so let's talk about the journey inwards to our natural spiritual growth rhythms as well as what that feels like.

The Journey Out of Stuckness

Monday, July 13, 2015

The Number One Ego Issue

ego issues, spiritual awakening
Our unconscious egos can seem to offer us an endless array of issues to sort through. It can seem like you've no sooner tackled one than another issue pops up, leaving you in an endless game of ego whack-a-mole. But the deeper you go, the simpler things become. And the further you journey inwards, the more you find that it really is the same main issue that is being dealt with again and again in a hundred masks.

Nonetheless, I encourage you to respect your process. If you need to understand why you are choosing certain toxic relationships or bad job situations, start there. Look at what it is you think you want and what you're getting. Look at how you grew up and how that informed what you wanted. As you do this, you'll find all kinds of spiritual revelations and realizations that will further your growth and accelerate you towards dealing with the top ego issue.

Now, I do want to say that the ego has a couple of big issues, but we're going to biggest one, which leads us further in understanding the human animals that we are. Because make no mistake about it, evolution has built up layers and layers of deeper programs that greatly inform how we construct our egos. So to go to the next step and truly confront the number one ego issue, you're going to have to get to the biological roots and truth of the situation.

What Is the Number One Ego Issue?

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Webinar Recording: Embracing All of Your Emotions

Many people think that spirituality is a path that allows us to feel good all the time. This is not the human experience. It has never been the human experience, and I find it very difficult to foresee that it'll ever be that way.

Yet, many people are constantly trying to have only "positive" experiences and emotions, and this creates a tremendous shadow-side to their personality and ego. Anger, sadness, and fear get locked behind a door of false happiness and humility, and this creates tremendous inner pain as someone attempts to be happy or positive all the time.

As many of you know, maturing on the spiritual path means embracing all of our emotions and experiences. It is also about letting go of the judgments of what is a positive or negative experience in life. The judgment is inherently coming from a place of ego that evaluates different things by criteria that is invisible to most people.

On that note, I hope to shine a light on some of these invisible motives in this webinar recording to help you embrace all your emotions and your whole expression as a beautiful human being.

Embracing All of Your Emotions Webinar Recording

Date of Recording:

Wednesday, July 15, 2015


6 PM Pacific Time

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Unwanted Awakening: Denying Your Self and Your Love

unwanted awakening, spiritual awakening, upsetting awakening
Spiritual awakening is always a surprise. As many of you already know, I speak of awakening as the spontaneous shift from unconsciousness to consciousness. But the light of awareness doesn't mean that we are free from all unconsciousness. Instead, that light allows us to see unconsciousness. It allows us to have a perspective and discern the difference between unconsciousness and consciousness that may have been totally invisible before.

What Is a Spiritual Awakening?

For someone who has been spiritual and wanted some kind of revelation or enlightenment, the arising of a spiritual awakening is a gift...most of the time. Because even with these types (and I suppose I'm in this rather small group), awakening does not bring freedom from pain. Freedom from suffering requires us to clean up our inner mess, and most people I know upon awakening find a lot of dirty dishes in their inner home. That can be surprising to the more naive spiritual people who think that spiritual awakening erases all problems and pain once and for all. While the problem-maker (the ego) may start, START to dissolve, the challenges of the world will remain. There is still hunger. There are still diseases. The world is a challenging and often painful place, and a spiritual awakening doesn't change that. Rather, it helps you to see all of those challenges clearly along with all the beautiful opportunities.

To the point of this post, many people who awaken are not spiritual, and some don't want to be. However, a spiritual wakening doesn't care if someone is overtly on the spiritual path or not because all of life is ultimately spiritual. Oftentimes, I get emails from people who tell me that they've never been spiritual, never meditated, never prayed, nor much of anything else. And then for whatever reason they awaken.

But some people don't want the illusion to end. Some felt comfortable in their lifestyle, and this awakening is very much an unwanted house guest. As such, they fight it tooth and nail. Today, I want to talk a little bit about that fight, what is really being resisted, and why this awakening is one of the greatest gifts you can ever receive.

The "Ah-ha" Moment Followed by the "Oh-no" Moment

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