Friday, February 4, 2011

Awakening Love in Relationships

As love awakens within you, the door to deeper, loving relationships opens wider. You have to understand, though, that this isn't just in the romantic context. While love definitely is growing in a romantic relationship, it's also growing in all your relationships. It's growing because that's the space that you're choosing to come from. As you fully embody that choice, you then move from that space without any need for an active choice. For example, when someone is first kind to you, you may need to choose to be loving in response. You may not be used to kindness, so that's why the mental choice is necessary. Over time, the loving response is the natural reaction; it is what arises for you.

As you've worked through other issues inside yourself that block you from love, the depths of love become more available to you from others. Here are some ways that you may see that manifestation of love.

People Like Working With You

Continuing to break apart the notion that love is only something for romance (don't worry about it, I'll talk about romance soon), one of the ways that love manifests is in people wanting to be around you. People say things like "You're easy to work with" or "We always want her on our projects." You might not be the best at what you do, but you're pleasant to be around. What is this pleasantness? It's the love that's exuding from you. People's kind responses to you are the manifestations of love being returned to you from your genuine actions with your co-workers and bosses. That's the spread of awakened love. Even if others don't understand what's going on, you do. And it's important to be able to understand that reflection you're seeing.

Keep in mind, that not everyone will love you all the time. It doesn't work that way. Being a loving individual will sometimes show others how dark and mean-spirited they are. Lots of people won't like that, so they may work against you or avoid you. But my overall experience around this is that most people will just really like having you around.

New Loving Friendships Appear
As you've learned to love yourself, you no longer tolerate people who don't treat you well. It's just not worth your time, and you care too much about yourself and them to just grin and bear it. You understand that being around people who are mean or who are mean to themselves oftentimes is just fueling the cycle. You aren't going to try to save them or change them. You can simply love them and let them go until such time as they can meet you on this new footing focused in love.

Meanwhile, other people will notice. Perhaps people that you'd had little to do with suddenly take an interest in you. You may feel surprised. You're wondering where this sudden interest in you came from. It comes from a similar energy vibration. It comes from the heart. Consciously or not, they can tell that you're in a more loving space. In turn, you'll experience these friendships differently than those in the past. Depending on where you are in your life, this may be shocking at first to have so much love offered your way. Love offered could be free tickets to the opera, an invitation to carpool, babysitting offers, and plenty of other manifestations. You may wonder, "Where did all this come from? Where did this abundance of love and kindness come from?"

It's simple. It came from you.

That's not saying that other person doesn't have a role to play, but love is fluid. It's always flowing. The more you step into that flow, the more you connect with others who are in it. And love comes from you to them, and then it comes from them back to you. As I mentioned in an earlier topic, this is the fluidity of giving and receiving.

Spiritual Romance: Love Awakens More Deeply
Abiding that you're with a partner who has a similar dedication to spirituality, your romance will deepen. There will be spaces of union, compassion, and understanding that get opened that you could never have imagined. The flow of it will be beautiful. The ability to conflict resolve will be more peaceful. The ego has let go of so much of the relationship that it might be initially scary (at least where the ego is still trying to control it), but it will be far more true to both you and your partner. You'll be able to ride the ebbs and flows of the relationship with much more integrity and grace. You'll know that when something is happening for your partner that it's not about you and vice-versa. The lack of personal claims and grievances clears the space for whatever needs to grow and flourish between you.

And when it is ready to complete, the relationship is let go with little to no effort. Because in awakened love, you understand that all relationships are transitory. Even if they last 3 lifetimes, they will come to an end. The point is to appreciate all aspects of it until we come to that ultimate space of union at the end of our lives and the cycles of soul learning.

Spiritual Love in All Things
Deeper still, you now can see the love and spirituality in all things. You are feeling a profound sense of interconnection with the high rise skyscraper as well as the meanest thief. This is a profound place. It may be part of the actual awakening taking places if you're starting to feel this. If so, just let everything fall away. Be in this love.

If you're not in this space, you can start to make a practice on focusing on different things, people, and places and sending love to them. Can you look at a pair of scissors and feel in love with even that? Try it. See what happens. What comes up? See all the ways that doubt runs in to trivialize the exercise. That is yet another place where the mind is at work and blocking the deeper connection of love.

In all things, there is love. That is awakening to love. Not when you know this concept, but when you truly feel it in your heart do you know that you've begun to come awake.

Special thanks to Arran Edmonstone for today's picture. You can see more of his awesome photos on this Flickr link 

Next blog: Awakening Your Voice: Speaking With New Integrity
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