Movements of the Heart: Embodying the Energy of Love
The only way I can access this topic appropriately is to share a little of what I've experienced. I've experienced a lot of different types of connection and intimacy, and I can't emphasize enough just how many types there are in the world. Awakening opens you up to all kinds of intimacy, and as I've written about in "Spirituality and Intimacy," it's far, far more than just sexual connection. So it was with this particular story for me.
I happened to be lying in bed, and I was holding my lover at the time. We were both fully clothed and not doing anything. We weren't preparing to do anything. We were really just relaxed into each other's energies. I suppose that's the essential piece. For whatever reason, I suddenly felt my chest being opened up to her, and I felt all this amazing light and energy come through her heart and into mine. We were both kinda stunned. We stopped and held each other for awhile. I can't even tell you how long it lasted. I was in a lot of awakening energy at the time when I was with her, so the concept of time had really broken down a lot. All I did know was just how much love I was feeling and how connected I felt to her. It's a treasured memory from that relationship for me, and it showed me just how deeply you connect on one level.
Soulmates and Spiritual Lovers
But as I also wrote in my blog about intimacy, just because you can connect incredibly deeply with a person in one moment doesn't mean that you will ever again or that that's the only person with whom you can have that level of connection. The illusion of the ego immediately grabs on to these circumstances and tries to do several things such as:
- Re-create the experience
- Hold on to the partner
- Judge and evaluate any other future experiences by that first one
Heart Opening and the Power of Energetics
This is where I'm theorizing. I'm theorizing on stuff that probably doesn't need theorizing, but I feel like putting it out there given some of the questions that I've received.
What does this mean to have this energy come into me? I have no idea. As always, I encourage you to journal about it if that question comes to you. Talk with whomever you had this connection about what you felt. What did s/he feel? What images did you both get? (FYI: This kind of visceral connection could also happen in nature or with a group of people; it's not necessarily a one-on-one experience). Sometimes, it's just a strong karmic connection or a past-life time reconnecting. Perhaps it's kind of an energetic download. One person becomes a conduit for energetic information and the other receives it.
How do I get it back? I've had different kinds and types of heart openings, but nothing like the initial one that I described in this blog. I would say that, for me, it was a seminal opening of my heart to a whole new way of connection. After that big opening, I'm not sure that I've needed to be re-opened and connected to in that way again. I can't speak for my lover at the time and what it meant to her. I may have another heart opening like it or more powerful later on, but it still wouldn't be the same. So I'd encourage you to not get caught up in the idea of trying to "get" something back. As always, the spiritual path will become incredibly difficult when you try to "get" stuff from it.
What does this mean about this partner with whom I had this connection? Ah, here's the 50 million dollar question. It's one that only you can answer. I have noticed that in the initial parts of awakening or spiritual shifts, we'll attract to us guides and doorways (I know it sounds funny to call someone a doorway, right?). These people help us open up to a new level and transition through the doorway into another space. It's a beautiful and sacred purpose. Once that completes, that relationship may dissolve, however. Other times, you will attract a life partner or spiritual lover because you're now in that same space or energy vibration. But like all relationships, I encourage you to think more expansively about the partnership because most relationships don't fit into the one-and-only-true-love-til-death-do-us-part mold that we try to cram them into.
Powerful Energy Shifts
I would also encourage you to draw your attention back away from the "other." As I've talked about before, focusing on other people to "give us love" will lead to suffering. No one can bring you fulfillment. You already have that inside. If anything, a heart opening is a sacred activation and blending of your energies. Perhaps, the other person has awoken a dormant feminine to blend with your already active masculine energy or vice versa. It is a beautiful and amazing thing to share with someone. But it's always important to come back to yourself and what's happening inside for you.
Because if you've really awakened in your heart, you may suddenly find that you're actually attracting a lot of loving and connected people. You may find that your tunnel vision focusing on the person who helped awaken your heart may hinder your further growth and development. It's not that focusing love on another is bad; it's the mentality of "I can only get this from him/her." It blocks out all the love that's going on in the world and doesn't allow other people to mirror and reflect your love.
Truly, this is a beautiful connection to have with someone. It has it's own intelligence. I could probably set up circumstances to encourage another big heart opening for myself with another, but that doesn't mean it would happen. It happens when it happens. But it is amazing. It is real. It is perfectly normal, and more and more, there are lots of amazing souls with whom you'll be able to share and connect in this way.