Sunday, January 22, 2012

Meeting People at Their Level

I'm going to break one of my rules...all right it's not really a rule. It's more of a guideline. Typically, I don't like to talk about spiritual levels. It's too confusing for people still very much in the ego mind. It's okay to be in this space--this describes most of humanity. But for the sake of speaking to those of you who are going through awakening shifts, I feel like it's helpful to give you a loose framework for integrating these shifts and for understanding how to be with people during a transitional time that can be challenging. To do so is to learn how to meet people where they are without judgment.

When You've Got Nuthin in the Tank
When you're really open and you've got no energy left-over for anyone else, it will feel like no one can meet your needs. Everyone around you feels like a drain, and it's very frustrating because you feel so open. Truly, being able to have so few boundaries is a gift, and as you connect with more deeply aware and open people, you'll be amazed at how effortless connecting deeply is. You'll see how little time matters in getting to know someone. It's not like the ego's stupid levels, which for getting to know someone would go like this:
  • First I have to see if this person is trustworthy, which usually means that they think and talk like I do (which doesn't actually have anything to do with trustworthiness, but it's how the ego judges these things).
  • Second, we need to spend a bunch of time together (depending on the person days, weeks, years).
  • Third, I might share something slightly intimate or revealing, but if I don't get the response I want, then that person is outta here.
But when you have no energy, it doesn't matter for the most part where anyone is at. You have to take care of yourself, and that usually means spending a lot of time with God and Mother Earth (nature walks are super helpful when you can't meditate anymore and just gotta move). Because the first thing you are learning during an awakening is that you absolutely have to bring all of your energy to bear on yourself. You're simply in too deep of a shift to run around connecting with everyone. It's not that time. The butterfly doesn't fly all over the place when it's still transforming in the chrysalis.

On Your Good Days, Swimming Back to Shore
Another metaphor that I've used for some time now is the metaphor of swimming out to the deep water. The deep water is the space of God: the divine mother and the divine father (To me, God really is both). You will have some friends who can swim out into that water with you, and during your more intense shifts, your deepwater friends may be the only ones withwhom you can be. But when you are in a lull, you may be able to swim back closer to shore where more of humanity is hanging out. This is meeting people at their level. Some people can only handle 3 inch deep water, some 3 feet deep water, and some won't even get into the water.

As you grow and develop, your awareness is opening, allowing you to see what depth someone can go to. A set of football buddies may not be able to swim out into the depths of the ocean with you (although people can surprise you, so giving people a chance from time to time is definitely a good idea). And if you expect them to, you're going to get really frustrated. So you learn to be in the depth that they can take, and when you need to swim out to the deeper parts of the ocean, you do that to take care of yourself. You're going to have real trouble dragging people out into deep water, and it isn't your choice to take them there. If loved ones don't want to be in that space, you must honor it even if it feels like it's getting lonely out in the middle of the ocean. That feeling is temporary. It's part of the ego that's still dissolving and is clinging onto you. As it dissolves and you become even more spiritually buoyant, you'll be able to swim out even further. =)

Continuing to Make New Friends
And of course, as you swim out further, you may find other people who can swim out to these new depths. It's important to understand that you aren't forsaking all your old friends. That too is an ego idea. You truly are learning how to honor the depths that you need to go, and that requires a lot of courage and self-love. Because ultimately, any of us playing small is a waste of our lives, if ever there was a way to waste it. Certainly, you can live your life anyway you want to, but the great change that we're all ushering into this world is being built off of this expansion. It's being built off of this amazing courage to be ourselves in our fullness and to not shrink within the confines of expectations and fears that tell us that we'll be alone, forgotten, or that we're evil people for leaving others behind. If anything, we are helping to show the way out into the deep waters and a more fulfilling way to live. Isn't it time to leave those shallow waters for something better?

When to Express and When to Let Go
For some people, you'll find a time to explain what you're doing so they don't feel left behind on shore, and for others, you'll simply need to let go without explanation. You can't expect others to understand what you're doing. Consider another metaphor: how do you explain an advanced calculus problem to someone who hasn't even learned Algebra yet? While the tenets and ideas of spirituality are simple enough, there's a level of consciousness that has to be present to fully understand and appreciate what you're doing. If one of your friends has severe abandonment issues, then to tell them that you feel like the relationship has completed for you will still ignite those issues. You can't account for other people's reactions. You can only tune in more deeply to your needs, your inner guidance, and your truth.


Trusting Your Actions and Your Words
Furthermore, I encourage you to deeply trust your actions and your words. As you embody this awakening energy, you're going to be more and more aligned with your truth. Trust what you have to say when you feel the need to say it, and trust what you are doing when you feel the call to take action. Part of having this awareness will lead you to naturally meet people where they are. You'll understand when someone only understands basic math, and when it's appropriate, you may explain something to someone in those terms. You'll know that to explain it in advanced calculus really won't make sense, and while what you may say may not be exactly correct, you're also learning where being exact does and does not matter. The real truth here is that you do know what to do and how to be with people, and it's time to let any remaining concerns about this dissolve.

Expectations from the Old Ego, Still Fighting the Currents
Still, it is perfectly normal for all of us to want to feel that our needs are being met. It can be a lonely road at times, but this is when we need to focus on our connection to God. Depending on your situation and the energy that you are in, you may need a lot of space, and perhaps no one in your immediate life can really hold space to nurture you. Or perhaps, you're simply not letting people in. It's a real balance, and that's why--as I always say--you absolutely need to be developing, cultivating, and trusting your inner knowing. For those of you who have very powerful spiritual teachers nearby or very in-tune spiritual friends, there are definitely times for letting them swim out to your level of awareness to be with you during your shifts. You will likely have to learn how to express some of your needs so that they know how to support you because everyone's needs are different. But the key thing is to honor these shifts and to not get caught up in trying to make those who aren't in this space try to perform a function for which they are not suited or prepared. It's like hoping your turtle will give birth to kittens; it's just not going to happen.

Conscious Shifting: How Long Does This Last?
As I'll always remind you, these shifts last as long as they need to; they last as long as you need them to. Where you are going, only you can say, but as you learn to release fully into your shifts, you'll will be able to re-meet some people who've been in your life in the past. The relationships will likely have to change to accommodate this new space you're in, but you'll be more able to meet people in denser vibrations without it really disturbing you. It won't be as bothersome, although it's unlikely that you'll want to hang out there. You'll probably find out that the deep water suits you just fine, and swimming with God at your side isn't that lonely after all.
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