The more you step into your inner radiant light, the more you understand this. There is no need to hang onto anything longer than it is helpful or healing. Words and ideas must be understood in this light, or else we can get lost in the many philosophical rabbit holes that the intellectual ego tries to hide in. There's no need to hide in the mind, and in this phase, there's no need and much less the will to hide anymore.
Enough Is Enough
For some of us, we hit this point where we say, "Enough is enough!" We're tired of fighting ourselves. We tired of trying to re-create the old life which feels like stacking marbles in a corner. It all keeps falling apart. We're tired of being tired and doing things that don't help us. We've had it with the remaining unconscious ego that has been clinging on like concrete pants that threaten to drown us in the ocean of consciousness. This is actually a sacred turning point. This is a point that not everyone gets to. While it isn't always quite so emphatic (and still a little egoic), it is an important point as the person more fully turns inward. They've seen that their ideas about how life should go truly don't work. They've also realized how those ideas and their actions are truly causing them pain. They've seen that they don't know how their lives should go, and they see that trying to fight against the currents of life is futile and perpetuates a kind of inner division that can leave the individual drained, hopeless, and depressed in the midst of the enormity of beauty the person can now see. It's gotten dark enough. Now it's time to embrace the light.
And Then Things Got "Worse"Ironically, the embracing the light phase can be the most challenging of the two. The person is now readily accepting that they can't go back and don't want to. The person is also readily accepting that they want to fully embrace their inner light wherever that path may take them. Depending on where an individual must go, what pain and blockages they currently have, and how fast the individual seems to want to get there, this phase will have varying levels of intensity. That means that for some of you, it will feel even worse. Or perhaps it is better to say that the swings between deeper connection to the light and a darker dark will grow broader. Consider another made up idea that can be useful for the moment. If your consciousness swings between intensities of 4 and 14 for most of your life, the differential is 10. It may seem like a big deal for your awareness at the time, but it becomes nothing compared to being in a state of 140 and then down in -52. The swing of 192 is intense. This is the idea of expansions and contractions, moving between your lightness and darkness.
Collapsing this deeply down into the dark is still an opportunity to dig out pain and core issues that never would have been seen without the intensity of your process. So much crap just wants to hide out and ride through the shift, and some of it can. While awakening gives us the opportunity to scrub out everything, we all seem to hold on to different things. That's why the inner shift and healing process tends to go in waves. Most of us seem unable to really let go the first time anyway, and there's a way that multiple passes can be gentler than trying to heal everything all at once.
But each time you illuminate the darkness, the locked up energy there is freed. So a flood of energy drives you up into greater expansions. If you hadn't had a lot of swings in energy before, in this phase, you probably will.
Converting the Dark Into LightThis metaphor won't be perfect, but one of the sub-themes of this post today is that words are made-up. We don't really care about consistency of ideas on the spiritual path; we care about consistency of inner love and dedication combining with words and ideas that are helpful. With that said, dark issues are like locked up energy. Imaging that darkness is like coal. Lumps of coal actually have extraordinary amounts of energy in them, and you can unleash that energy if you heat them up enough. So (and in this metaphor it's all clean energy, by the way), you need a certain level of inner fire going to burn these up, and you needed to have burned away all the brush and obstructions on top of that before you can even get to this level with enough intensity to move them. That's why some of the most extraordinary deepenings in consciousness can happen now and not before; before you were still creating obstructions. You couldn't engage with this depth.
It's like in massage. If the outer levels of muscle and fascia are too tense, you can't do anything with the deeper levels until the surface levels relax. Thus, we find much the same thing here, and it's why the embracing the light phase can be so darned intense. You've finally relaxed the upper surfaces, and now you can go deeper.
And you may be surprised just how much more light and really nasty dark have been trapped down inside of you for your whole existence.
Elements of Embracing the LightIn general, I like to give a few elements of this phase as I did with the shadow and darkness phase in the earlier blog. But once again, please don't hold onto these ideas past their useful lifespans. There's no need. This is all about coming into being, and being doesn't need words to define it or how it shifts in the world of duality.
In the Embracing the Light Phase:
- The person steps into their love and light in a significant way (For me it was starting the blog, writing the ebook, and claiming the role of spiritual teacher).
- The individual lets go more and accepts themselves more deeply as they are.
- The individual stays more focused on faith and trust. The durations of time where one falls out of it grow shorter and are more easily noticed..
- The individual often goes into the most core and difficult issues now.
- Some of the awakening "symptoms" are the most intense in this phase.
- The highs and lows can accentuate, but there is better integration because of a whole being level of acceptance.
- The waves of intensity eventually begin to mellow towards the end and move us into our natural rhythms of spiritual growth for this lifetime.
- There's a deeper forgetting of issues. In this sense, we no longer understand why we should be afraid of something. The mindset that believed in the fear, anger, etc. is annihilated, although we can conceptually understand why we used to think or act a given it. It just makes no sense. In this way, we've fully seen through our own insanity.
As You Dissolve Over the YearsThese phases are overarching phases, and while I mentioned that we have many, many other cycles within them, I typically think of these phases in the terms of years. This can be scary for many of you still holding onto the unconscious ego, but it is not beyond your ability to be with it. I always like to remind people that we're healing from a lot of insanity and a very sick culture that is lost in getting stuff from others. We have so many intense wars against others and ourselves built off of fundamental lies, and we've all been infected by it. I often refer to the spiritual path as a time of going sane because of how insane we have been and how we have so deeply believed and acted out the insanity. For instance, the ideas of doing a job you hate or starving your body to achieve a body shape are absolutely absurd to the awakened individual, but even after awakening, people can do these types of things. But because the light of consciousness is turned on, we feel even more horrible trying to do these things because we finally can see, feel, and understand the truth on multiple levels.
Yet having to deal with these core issues tends to require time in this world, so by the time we have cleared enough of the debris over the garden of our lives, we haven't even really broken ground and started planting seeds. This too can be even more back-breaking work (metaphorically speaking), and seeds need time to grow. I started several years ago planting seeds in the beginning of my embracing the light phase, and many of those seeds are still nestled in the ground and have not sprouted yet even though I've completed this phase.
So don't think that everything will be perfect after this phase. That's not how life is except in the sense that ultimately everything is perfect as it is and always has been.
Embracing Your Natural Imperfection and Growth CyclesEventually, it all calms down in the inner world. It's a wonderful feeling, I don't mind telling you. From being so shook up and churned about for years, feeling the deepened settling of your awakened awareness is beautiful. The tree does set its roots deep in the earth while spreading its boughs to the heavens. This isn't a mythical endpoint where everything is perfect, however. The tree keeps growing in its own way, and we too move into our natural growth cycles. Some of us continue to deepen into self-realization. Some of us simply stay where we are, and others can go back into different levels of darkness and decay. It's all possible, which is why we end up returning to certain levels of discipline and dedication to help us stay healthy, happy, growing people.
While we never really know what life will send our way, we know that life is as it is. There's no need to resist it or to create additional suffering. At the conclusion of this phase, we know who we are for the most part, and we trust that things will be revealed as and when they are ready to be revealed. We are fully embracing That Which Is, and we truly know it.